The Librarian: Return to King Solomon's Mines (2006)

This was the first of the Librarian movies that I had seen a couple of years back, and it turns out that I had missed the opening sequence looking for the crystal skull. So, that was kind of cool.
I was going to watch a different movie tonight, but it turns out that today is Bob Newhart's birthday - happy 82nd Bob!. Which means that he was 76 when this came out, so 75 when it was made. Dang he looks only a little bit older than my memories all those years ago of the Bob Newhart Show. Which is to say that he has looked to be in his 60s for 25 to 30 years now. Huh.
I spent the whole damn film, which is as enjoyable as the other two by the way, looking at Gabrielle Anwar. I know the back of the movie case calls her the "beautiful archaeologist" and I know several dudes who think she is super hot based on starring in Burn Notice, but I am not convinced. I don't think she's an uggo or anything. Oh my god, did I just write that? I really need an editor. No. Seriously.
Where was I? Oh yeah, Ms. Anwar. I just want to make her a nice lasagna and maybe a cake or pie. That girl could use some more food. Now, I know that she's proud of how she looks, else why would she play so many roles where she is showing off so much skin but it just ain't doing it for me. Maybe it's just her neck and her face. There is a scene right at the end of the movie where she is wearing a spaghetti strap dress and holds up her arm. I paused the movie for a minute to look at her arm. I know. I'm not your average bear. Her arm was not super thin and/or all muscular. It was a normal nice looking arm. Maybe she just has a mix of things going on? Normal arms, a sculpted abs region and a scrawney little neck and too thin face. Her abs, they don't belong to a hyper skinny person either. They are quite athletic and muscular looking like she must do a thousand sit ups a day. Funny, I didn't even think to pause the movie then. But not too surprising since I don't think she's very good looking. She could take half to two-thirds of the time she spends doing sit ups and spend that time eating lasagna and cake. Ya. I like that idea.
Also, I think Noah Wylie looks totally hot in glasses. Or at least he did when he was 35. I bet he still does.

The Librarian: Return to King Solomon's Mines at IMDb

The Librarian: Quest for the Spear (2005)

I know you are supposed to watch this movie first, you know, so that you know how Flynn gets hooked up with the library, but I watched it third. Still as entertaining as if I watched it first. Not that I could have watched it any other way - I watched the second and third ones a couple of years back when they did marathon on TNT and we missed the first one. So, I watched the third one again night before last, now the first one, and will put a hold on the second one to watch next week. Good stuff.
While watching this film, I have the foresight of knowing where they are going with the characters, so it was interesting to see how it all started in that context.
This movie was goofier than the third, lots of Flynn tripping over his own feet and stuff, only to have him do some truly bad-ass thing based upon something he read combined with his observations of the world around him. Not a bad way to portray librarians, as far as I'm concerned, and if any non-librarian would know, it would probably be me.
I've always thought that Bob Newhart and Jance Curtain were funny, and there roles in this series of movies does nothing to dissuade that. What I didn't know was that I liked Noah Wylie so much. He is more leading man than comedian. Honestly, I bet that actors like Wil Wheaton look at Wylie and are totally jealous because they think that could have been them. Sure Wheaton, blame Wylie for being too short.
Kyle McLachlan as the baddy was great, especially since he was the goodie-turned-baddie. Very nice role for Muad'dib. Honestly, while I might not like all the movies that I've seen McLachlan in, I've always liked his characters.
Lastly, Sonya Walger and Kelly Hu deserve a shout out for the kicking ass and looking hot, if not their acting chops. I don't blame them, though. The script and director made them say and do the cheesy things they did, and at least they did it looking attractive.

The Librarian: Quest for the Spear at IMDb

The Librarian: Curse of the Judas Chalice (2008)

This is a film in which Doctor Carter and Detective Beckett battle Senator...crap, I forgot the character name - the Senator from the first X-Men movie who turns to water...ah well, I've spoiled the moment already.
Okay, Noah Wylie plays a character that is not a doctor, but instead a librarian. I happen to be rather fond of librarians and maybe that's why I think this was a good career move for him. Well, I'm not too familiar with his character on ER. I watched it a few times and remember George Clooney and Anthony Edwards, and a scene with Dr. Carter with a really big beard. Wylie must have been quite young when he played that role.
Stana Katic is the love interest/undead temptress, Simone. When I saw this movie the first time, I didn't know her at all and remembered thinking that she was kind of cute and that I didn't really buy her French accent, even if she had been in the US for a couple of centuries. But, since then I've seen four seasons of Castle in which she plays the indomitable Detective Kate Beckett. She's also pretty young, I think just in her early thirties.
Note to my childhood self in case he reads this through some weird anomalous space-time rip or worm hole - I know that people in their thirties don't seem young, but trust me kid, they are. I don't think women really become beautiful until about thirty, they can be attractive and pretty and gorgeous, but they're missing the seasoning necessary for true beauty. Trust me kid - girls only get better looking and women always trump girls. I think there is a corollary for men too. Brad Pitt for example, much more attractive in his thirties than his twenties. Oh, but don't think it stops then - beauty, I mean truly striking beauty continues on into her fifties and in some cases sixties depending on the woman. Same thing for dudes. But, then it's all downhill from there, which I think you already know.
Okay, back to the matter at hand. This film is like a good version of Warehouse 13. Don't get me wrong, I love that show, but the acting is hit and miss and the episodes are fairly formulaic. The acting in the Librarian films is definitely a notch up. They are made for television, so profanity is lacking, as are the "sexy-sexy", but that's okay. It's funny and the main character is such a nerd as to be a rockstar. Really, I think this film easily stands up against theatrical releases like the National Treasure movies, okay Nick Cage isn't much to win against, so how about also does well against the Lara Croft movies, because I think we can all agree that Angelina Jolie is a better actor than Cage, but they're based on a video game, I know. How about I tell you that in my opinion these films stand up pretty well against the Indiana Jones franchise. Would you believe me? I'm not going to say they're better than Raiders of the Lost Ark, because let's face it, few films are, but I will stick these up against the other three. It the Librarian films had the budget of the Indiana Jones flicks, I'm sure it would win, you know, except against Raiders, because that is one of the best movies of all times.

The Librarian: Curse of the Judas Chalice at IMDb