G.I. Joe: Retalliation (2013)

I admit that I had been looking forward to this movie. You could almost say that the first G.I. Joe movie (and the Transformers movies) was a guilty pleasure, except I don't feel that guilty about it. They did not remake the cartoons I watched as a kid, nor the comic books I read. But let's be completely honest here, those cartoons and comic books served the sole purpose of selling more toys. Marvel worked a little bit on trying to make the Autobots and Decepticons fit into their universe, mostly with a mini series that featured them and G.I. Joe and Cobra with a small part, little more than a cameo really, by Spiderman. The G.I. Joe comic at least had some mini series spin-offs and developed some story lines far away from what the cartoon did, however they were obligated to throw in at least some of the new characters and contraptions whenever Hasbro released another batch. They mostly provided simple stories for us kids to act with our toys if we had right ones. Present company included. I've got to say that I personally, when left to myself, i.e. not playing with my dollies with my friends, saw G.I. Joe teaming up with the Rebel Alliance to fight the evil Empire which had joined forces with Cobra because those generic Cobra soldiers looked a lot like the Bespin guards who we all know are Stormtrooper wanna-bes. Then legos would get involved to make fortifications quickly followed by the Transformers and some other robot toys, as mechs to help their sides do battle. But, eventually they all joined forces to battle He-Man and his posse. He-Man even though vastly outnumbered would lead his giant troops to victory, only to appear to be thwarted by the Warlord (from DC comics) who lead forces including Hercules who were the same size as the He-Man figures, but they would join forces at the crucial moment and the Star Wars/Transformers/G.I. Joe army would be defeated with the rare exception when the Justic League of America would show up to fight the giants. But mostly I built defenses and little vehicles to prepare for the epic climax.
The first movie was a sci-fi action film with some surprisingly strong characters. This time around the sci-fi is pretty much dropped. Oh, it's there, but is secondary at best. What has replaced the sci-fi part is a ninja part, or more correctly, G.I. Joe seems to be part of a ninja movie.The character building has been completely replaced by more ninja action
With that being said, it's not a very good sequel, but it is a decent movie. Aside from a very small number of characters, it's new folks all the way around. Don't they know that the new toys were always fun because you integrated them with the old toys, not replace the old toys?  I guess not.
I had heard before the first one came out that there was a planned trilogy. I wonder if those plans still exist or if two and three got pushed together. They totally leave the end open for more, but the story arc seems to be pretty well wrapped up. I guess I'll have to just wait and see.

G.I. Joe: Retalliation on IMDb

The Man with the Iron Fists (2012)

I don't know how I let myself get talked into watching these kinds of films. It's probably something like, "Self you should watch it. It'll be kung-fu-tastic. It'll be like all those movies you loved as a kid, except bigger and better and more, more, more. Come on Self, you know you want to." Damned if I don't submit to peer pressure every time. Double damned if I don't get especially suckered by the Tarentino films. And I'm thrice damned by that temptress Lucy Liu. I'll watch her in anything, even if I know it's going to be crap.
Watching these films, by which I mean this genre of the super-exaggerated kung fu movies is almost a guilty pleasure. In fact I would say that it is a guilty pleasure, but as I started that sentence I decided to go with an almost tossed in because for some reason while I feel silly admitting to watching these films, I'll gladly openly discuss The Avengers, or X-Men: First Class. Really, what's the difference? Super hero flicks with predictable plots mitigated by intense fight scenes and big special effects budgets. Which am I talking about here? The Hong Kong style super hero movie or the American style? Exactly.
What I should not admit to (speaking of guilty pleasures) is that as soon as the villain Bronze Body came on the screen, I was all like, "Oh snap! That's Bautista!" Though, in my mind's dialogue I always misspell his name - leaving out the "u". If you don't know who I"m talking about, just skip to the next paragraph, no need to see me admit to watching professional wrestling. Okay, there. I said it. Actually I'm a recovered addict, since I don't have a television. Well, that's not entirely true, there is one in the other room, but I never watch anything on it as it is not connected to anything that allows me to watch anything, i.e. cable or disk player. But really, pro wrestling is like the bastard child of comic books and soap operas. You get hooked into story lines that are no more or less ridiculous than any soap opera, being acted out by people who are no more or less ridiculous looking than any comic book characters (or from what I've seen of certain programs, I might as easily have said "reality shows").
The surprise for me in this film was the character of Jack Knife. For the first couple of minutes he was on screen, I was asking myself where they found an actor who was an older, fatter version of Russell Crowe. And then I saw Lucy Liu and had the epiphany that I was most likely actually looking at the real Russell Crowe. Ouch. I probably would have figured it out sooner if I recognized RZA on sight and not just by name. Hey, I recognized Ms. Liu and that's all that matters, pro wrestlers aside.

The Man with the Iron Firsts at IMDb