Monday, June 27, 2011

Plants Vs. Zombies

I was going to watch some Swedish movies this weekend, but didn't quite get around to it. I couldn't bring myself to spend three and a half to four hours reading what was going on. But, I will still watch them.
Instead, I ended up playing a really silly game, "Plants vs. Zombies". Silly but entertaining. You are some person in a post-apocalyptic, zombie-filled world. The way that you combat the zombies is completely unlike any zombie movie I've ever seen, and I would say zombie novel I've ever read, but I have only read one, "World War Z" and I only read a few chapters because I kept falling asleep so I'm not saying it was bad, just that I couldn't stay awake long enough to get more than about 30 pages read. Anyway, unlike the common use of firearms or axes or baseball bats to deat the zombie hordes, you use plants. That's right, plants. Well, I guess you weren't too surprised since I did tell you the name of the game is Plants Vs. Zombies. You have plants that provide sun, the "money" if you will to buy other plants, ones that shoot peas with enough force to behead a zombie after a few hits. There are exploding potatoes, and all kinds of funky mushrooms (for the zombies, not you). And did mention the crazy neighbor?
It's really a silly game, but sometimes that is nice. The animation cracks me up, actually.
The game is made by Popcap, the same people that brought the other game that I play with any regularity (not counting Spider solitaire), and that is Bejeweled. If you've played this, you'll understand why PVA is so addictive that I spent hours playing it last night, and suspect that you can imagine why just by knowing that Popcap was involved.
Anyway, you should try Pants Vs. Zombies.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Friday Review: Midsomer Murders

A regular feature of sweaty bloggopotamus, Friday Reviews is a look at from one to a google plex things I've read, watched, heard, felt, tasted and/or smelled. While I hope these reviews to be of recent or interesting things, they will always be of things I love or hate or which have surpassed or sorely missed my expectations. In other words, its my two cents (which after adjusting for intellectual inflation and multiplying by the 'insight factor' and dividing by the quality of the review, is actually one cent - and that's on my better days).

Midsomer Murders on itv (and DVD)
Midsomer Murders is long running (since 1997 until now) detective drama airing in the UK. They're based on the books by Caroline Graham, and follow the many, many murders in the fictitious Midsomer County, and their eventual solution by Detective Chief Inspector Tom Barnaby and Detective Sergeant Gavin Troy, at least through the first six series. The web tells me that Barnaby eventually gets a couple of different assistants and that with the most recent season, there is even a new Barnaby.
I really like this series. I really like a lot of series, to be fair, but this one is special. There are no super cops, top forensics labs, former Marines-turned-Intelligence officers. it's just a couple of "flat-footed country cops" (6x23 - "Painted in Blood"), and sure this term is used derogatorily, but accepted later by the two as a badge of honor. They are good detectives who solve crimes by doing the legwork and persevering. I've watched about 25 episodes now and have yet to get to the point where they feel formulaic. I have gotten to the point where I am fond of the characters, not to mention noticing all the guest stars. I watch a lot of BBC television, so I tend to see a lot of faces that I recognize.
The other day, one of the librarians when explaining the show to another librarian who had not seen it, said, "it's like Murder She Wrote, but with british detectives instead of a little old lady in New England". I was quick to deny this, but upon further reflection, especially after she explained that it was meant as a compliment, I think I agree with her. Except not so formulaic.
I feel like I should recommend an episode or two, well that's not a bad idea. It just so happens that the first I would recommend is the very first episode, "The Killings at Badger's Drift". It's very eccentric and the cast of characters are, um, eccentric. And by eccentric, I mean they are crazy, cooky, zany.

I give this series, 5 out of 5 badges.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Stories you just can't make up

Anecdote #) Yesterday as I was getting ready to pack it in for the day at the library, I overheard the first of a conversation that sounded hilarious from my perspective but that I would quickly learn was just nasty.

Librarian: Coquille library, how may I help you?
Caller: ... ... ...
Librarian: Do you mean books by Shel Silverstein just in our library?
Caller: ... ... ...
Librarian: You want me to read all the titles?
Caller: ...
Librarian: Just the names of the books that we actually have on the shelves at this time?
Caller: ... ...
Librarian: Okay. The Giving Tree, Where the Sidewalk Ends,
Caller: ... ...
Librarian: Slower?
Caller: ...
Librarian: The Giving Tree, Where The Side
Caller: ...
Librarian: The Giving Tree
Caller: ... ...
Librarian: Where the Sidewalk Ends
Caller: ...
Librarian: Excuse me? I can't go slower.
Caller: ...
Librarian: You want me to start again and only proceed to the next title when you tell me to
Caller: ...
Librarian The Giving, excuse me sir?
Caller: ...
Librarian: Look, I've got people waiting on me.
caller: ...
Librarian: No, people are lining up waiting for me, I can't
Caller: ...
Librarian: No, I can't.
Caller: ...
Librarian: Look sir, I can't help you, I'm going to transfer you to my manager.

The librarian, whom shall remain anonymous as of this writing, then explained to the library director the situation - that a man was on the phone and wanted her to recite the titles of Shel Silverstein books and only proceeding when he told her that she could and that by the noises he was making and the way that he was acting that he was most likely masturbating. She had read more than just two tiles in the actual phone conversation, I just couldn't remember which ones and these were the first two that I could think of.

I had initially thought this may be one of the many regular patrons who seem to have no idea that the librarians might need to help other people, and then I thought that this would be a great practical joke - call up a library and tell them that you need them to recite all the books by a prolific author. But, calling up the library to get off on Shel Silverstein, or even just the voice of the librarian...creepy, ucky, scary. Is this just some pervert? Is this some kind of misunderstanding? Is this someone the police should be alerted about?

You know, I can't even come close to this with my retelling of the second anecdote, so I'm not going to even try. Plus, my own story is mostly just me being pissed off at something I can't do anything about, because the person who controls the internet is concinved he is right, even though he is wrong, and I am just shit outta luck.

Monday, June 20, 2011

On the Road

Okay, here's a rule of the road, so to speak. If you are in the crosswalk, and someone pulls up and not only do they fail to stop back a respectful distance and actually get the nose of their crappy little Nissan pick-up into the crosswalk, and you've stopped walking and are waving both arms at them trying to get their attention - you are allowed to call them a fuckface. I'm just sayin'. It's the law.

And yeah, that's right. If a driver is being a complete fucking idiot, I don't run away. I'm pretty sure in a fair fight, I could beat a Nissan, and you better pray to God that you're insured. I'm just sayin'. It's the law of the jungle.

Friday, June 17, 2011

Friday Reviews: Cruorpunxis

A regular feature of sweaty bloggopotamus, Friday Reviews is a look at from one to a google plex things I've read, watched, heard, felt, tasted and/or smelled. While I hope these reviews to be of recent or interesting things, they will always be of things I love or hate or which have surpassed or sorely missed my expectations. In other words, its my two cents (which after adjusting for intellectual inflation and multiplying by the 'insight factor' and dividing by the quality of the review, is actually one cent - and that's on my better days).

All right, I didn't read a book called Cruorpunxis, but I did just finish the Monster Blood Tattoo trilogy, and in the books the term the author uses for a monster blood tattoo is 'cruorpunxis'.

Wow. This was such a fresh read for me. A new kind of world which is obviously based on one far more familiar, which becomes more obvious the further you read. It's a YA (Young Adult) novel and is essentially the coming of age story of one Rossamund Bookchild, who is a foundling, more literally than most as this is Cornish's term for orphan.
The book is full of bad guys and good guys and very few characters who are of ambiguous nature. "This might become limiting", I thought to myself, "but for now it allows for some good conflict."
I was warned before I started the series that the author spends a lot of time 'world building'. I prepared myself for the likes of one of Jordan's behemoth boooks full of this lord and lady wearing these colors, and that mayor wearing that kind of suit, etc. But instead was met by different names/words for many common and some quite uncommon things. It was a nice mix, I thought.
I liked this book so much that I recommended it to my ex-wife, with the caveat that I hadn't read the rest of the series, and passing on what my librarian had told me about the world building.
This books gets 4.5 out of 5 stars.

Lamplighter by D. M. Cornish (book 2)
You know all that stuff about world building and about how ther person recommending these books to me said it as a warning? Well, Cornish added so much of it in the second book as if to make up for not adding some extra in the first book. I don't know who the editor was, but she was slacking on the job.
Right around page 400 as I was ready to just put the book down and never pick ut up again, I got to the bookmark Elizabeth had been using in her unsuccessful attempt to get through the book (she's the one who recommended and lent the books). I fully understand why she stopped. To be honest, the only reason I read on after a day or two break was so that I could tell her that she picked a good place to stop, but after one more relatively short chapter of boringness, it picked up and Cornish made up for the middle 200 pages by cramming in almost too much action and story development. This 600+ page book could have been a really good 350 page book, really, really good even. But in the form that it ended up being, it was too damn long and boring in the middle.
This book gets a 6.36457 out of 10 on the review-o-meter.

Factotum by D. M. Cornish (book 3)
So, the third book is set up to either make or break the series. If I didn't have an audiobook version to listen to for part of it, I wouldn't even have started. (I read the first two, which is a big deal for me.) And, while there were points where the editor was yet again asleep at the pen, for the most part the story moves on in a pleasant enough manner.
The author does something in this book, that he did in the second book, but is a much bigger deal in the third because it puts forth the resolution of story arcs, and that is move the story along with a letter from a character not seen since at least 500 pages ago. Two of the minor villains from the first book meet their end in the third, but not in a way that impacts teh main character at all - but he learns about it in letters. One of the main villains from the second book is likewise dealt with. And while it could have worked, the main character hardly reacts to it at all. It's like Cornish suddenly went, "Oh crap! I forgot to tell wrap up the XYZ storyline! Here's a little note to explain what happened."
The end of the book and the trilogy is obvious from the first part of the book, but that doesn't mean that he handled anything wrong. It was a satisfying conclusion, I felt.
This book gets a B grade.

The series, which was originally marketed as "Monster Blood Tattoo", was rebranded "The Foundlings Tale". Lame. I hate it when they do this. But, this isn't the author's fault, it's the damn publishers trying to get more money and make it harder for librarians and library users to keep track of what's going on.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Magic sliders

So, there's this product called Magic Sliders or something, that are supposed to aid folks when moving furniture. You tip up an edge, slide one of these babies under, and then theoretically you can just push your stuff where you want with very little effort.
Sounds too good to be true, doesn't it? Well, I'm here to tell all y'all, that they're real and that they are extremely efficient and helpful.f
Today was to be the first of three in-service days for the Coquille Public Library. Staff and some volunteers were going to move about 70% of the books and their bookshelves so that more space could be allotted the large print books and back issues of magazines. As it is (or should I say 'was') the areas abut the computer stations and if the computers are in use, which is just about every minute that the library is open, then it is nigh on impossible to get into these two sections.
With the use of the Magic Sliders, six of us, along with a few others that were helping intermittently, including doing things like taking pictures of us, were able to accomplish the whole job in about two hours to two and a half hours. We moved about 20 library-sized book shelves and all of their books (I'm guessing a number larger than ten thousand) with maximum ease.
It was funny to see how all of us were so impressed at these little pieces of plastic. If I wasn't so damn lazy, I would hunt down what these things are actually called and provide you a link, but if you call U-haul and ask for the "magic slider thingies" they will know exactly what you are talking about, even if you don't. :D

Monday, June 13, 2011

NaNoWriMo 2011 prep bigins NOW!

I know it's only the middle of June and NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month for those of you that have been asleep for the last decade) doesn't start until November, but I'm starting the prep work today, or I would, had I not started it this Saturday last.
Last year, I started in September and spent weeks brainstorming ideas, and then did some initial research/outlining on five possible ideas and by October, I had decided the topic for that year's novel. I used the 31 days of October to try and follow the recommendation of a book I had been reading and found that method to be wanting - I needed more time to outline and not so much time for character bios. What I really needed was more time to research. I was trying my hand at a Science Fiction novel and wanted my speculative science to be at least rooted in reality. When I got to the stage of writing a detailed outline, the method I was using did not allow me any more time for additional research, but I really needed it. I ended up spending hours in November when I could have been writing doing research instead.
This year the method to the madness will be my own. I already have the idea firmly in my head, and it looks like Science Fiction again. I don't want to give anything away, not that it's secret rather just that I don't want to bore you, but I've been looking to use a certain mechanic that explains the operation of reality, well, for close to twenty years. It was just this last Friday that it came to me how to use it as part of a story (as opposed to just being some background info).
I predict the hard part will be not starting to write the story. Research this year will be roughly as difficult as last year, maybe even more linguistic research, but I have a head-start in that area of interest, plus I have four and a half months instead of 5 days. Following my own plan seems like a better idea now that I've tried several different methods for NaNoWriMo. The only thing I really have to think about, is whether to do it at all - if the start of September rolls along and I'm ready to start writing, do I really need to wait another 60 days? I love NaNo, but I love writing even more. Perhaps the story will break up into "books" and I can write one of them in November. I know that to some, that may seem like I'm shooting a little high, but since I tend to come up with ideas that are very broad; and since I've written more than 100k words two Novembers in a row, I think I'm capable of doing something like this.
Who knows, maybe by NaNo time, I'll already have worn out this idea and be starting something new.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Friday Reviews: Bossypants, Codes and Keys, Pete Yorn

A regular feature of sweaty bloggopotamus, Friday Reviews is a look at from one to a google plex things I've read, watched, heard, felt, tasted and/or smelled. While I hope these reviews to be of recent or interesting things, they will always be of things I love or hate or which have surpassed or sorely missed my expectations. In other words, its my two cents (which after adjusting for intellectual inflation and multiplying by the 'insight factor' and dividing by the quality of the review, is actually one cent - and that's on my better days).


I listened to the audiobook version of Bossypants, because, well, I don't actually read too many books unless they're in large print. But, I would have listened to the audiobook anyway because it's read by Tina Fey.
'Hot damn!' I thought. "This will be as funny as Jon Stewart's first book, easy." And then I listened to the audiobook.
The audiobook was only five CDs - probably the shortest one I've ever listened to. Well, short isn't bad. If I'm going to compare it with Stewart's Naked Pictures of Famous People, they have their brevity in common. But, they don't have much else in common.
I don't know what I was expecting other than "funny", but somehow Bossypants wasn't it. "Oh," you say to yourself, "Eric didn't like it." Wrong. &^>
Stewart's book was snarky and biting and very funny; just like the man himself. Bossypants is definitely funny, but it's self-reflective and grateful. There is some biting humor, but not that's aimed at a named individual. This (audio)book is more memoir than comedy skit. I learned how much Fey loves her family and her job, and heard some hilarious anecdotes from her life. I think maybe Stewart was the wrong person to compare her to in her effort, but I couldn't know until I came out the other side that Bossypants would more resemble something written by a perky David Sedaris. I can only wonder if Fey is like her book, I hope so.
Oh, and other audiobook producers, take note: Tina Fey included pictures in a PDF which she referenced often (there were 24 images). This was brilliant.
Bossypants gets two enthusiastic thumbs up from me.


I have long been a fan of this band and frontman Ben Gibbard's side-project, The Postal Service. Therefore, I expected I would at the very least, like this album. I have also had the good fortune to see this band perform live a couple of times, and really, really like the rougher edge of their live performances. Because of both of these factors, I really enjoyed my first listen through of the album. Several songs, including the first track, "Home is a Fire", have a rougher edge to them than the normal DCfC song, and this is a good thing. This album wasn't just a continuation of Plans, but growth to the band's sound.
I mentioned liking the album after the first listen-through. That's a pretty big deal, as normally I may like a few songs, but to like a whole album takes multiple (sometimes many multiple) listenings. I've heard the album completely through four times now and I still feel good about it, and have yet not been able to pick out any one or two singles to add to my "Great Fucking Music" playlist on my iPod. (I have a rule of not adding more than two songs per album to this playlist - I have other playlists for great albums, which Codes and Keys has ben added to.)
Codes and Keys gets a well-earned A from me.


Pete Yorn is the fourth studio album by ... Pete Yorn. I have been a big fan of his ever since I heard "Life on a Chain" back in 2001 or 2002. I am never disappointed with his albums and this one does not break that trend. Upon listening to this album, I think pretty much the same thing I think when I listen to all of his albums, namely, "Why the HELL is he not more famous?" He writes his own songs, there always at least a couple of catchy and accessible songs on each album. He's a good looking guy. And from what I've heard from interviewers, he's a really nice guy. Maybe if he were an asshole he would be more famous?
I'll keep doing my bit for Pete Yorn. I'm listening to the new album even as I write this and think this is his best effort yet. This album has a slightly rougher sound than the last two and is less produced than his previous attempts. Both of these are a good thing.
Am I seeing a trend with new music - to be rougher than previous efforts? Hard to tell from just two albums, but this is one artist that I think can benefit from it, and I know that I as the listener certainly do.
Pete Yorn gets a 9.1 out of 10.0 from me.


Wednesday, June 08, 2011

Top 3 Saddest Movies of All Freakin' Time

The other day, Paul and I were talking about what movies he had just watched, and upon revealing one of the films, we both reacted quite loudly in the same manner - it was so sad and depressing that we could hardly stand to watch it. The movie in question was the recent Mickey Rourke flick, The Wrestler. As Paul put it, "It made me want to scream!" which was said in a rather loud voice, especially considering that our conversation was happening in the library. My response was a little more hyperbolic, which likely surprises no one. I felt it was a good thing that I didn't own a gun, 'cause bad things would have happened, mostly to me and the stuff hanging on my walls.
I've been compiling a mental list of sad movies, mostly because I spend a lot of time in the library and hear people request movies that aren't sad, while others bring movies up to the desk and ask if the movie is a good film. In particular, one of our librarians is always asking about movies and has made it clear that she does not want to watch anything depressing. She didn't always listen to my advice (not that I have great advice or anything), but now when I tell her that a movie is sad or depressing, she listens. It was her checking out and watching Into the Wild and then calling in sick to work the next day because she was "too depressed to get out of bed" (her words). I think that pretty much describes how I feel about that movie.
Sometime after Paul and I had our discussion, Elizabeth asked me what we were talking about and I told her how we had just agreed upon the third saddest movie of all time. A surprising number of people never ask me what the top one or two saddest films of all time are (well, usually I'm saying that Into the Wild is the second saddest movie of all time), they just go on their way, but Elizabeth was very nice in humoring me and asked what the saddest movie of all time is. The answer, of course, is Dancer in the Dark, starring Björk Guðmundsdóttir. I cried when I watched it in the theatre, and I've never wanted to watch it again. I can't even listen to the amazing soundtrack without first popping some Prozac.
Now, I know that there are lots of other movies that are sad or depressing. Some day I may even be able to fill out the top five, but it's not as easy as it sounds, especially since I don't really need my entertainment to make me feel more depressed than I already am (not that I'm depressed, I'm just saying). To qualify for my list, the movie can't just be sad, it's got to be an excellent film - one that I would recommend to my friends and strangers in the library. All three of these films are well-made and worth watching; worth watching exactly one time.

Monday, June 06, 2011

Triviateer, 3rd Class

Just before the big holiday weekend last month (that would have been Memorial Day), The Friends of the Coquille Library (FotCL) hosted the 193rd Annual Trivia Battle to the Death...oh wait that last stuff was just a dream I had. What the FotCL did host was the Spring 2011 Trivia contest, where local citizens compete in teams of up to eight persons each in a 10 round, 100 question contest for bragging rights. While 'door prizes' were given away throughout the evening, the prize for first place is a warm fuzzy feeling for being slightly (or greatly) more geeky than your neighbors.
The winner of the contest, and champions at least until the autumn event, were the "Awesome Name Goes Here" Team. Which was the fantastic name I came up with, as a joke at first, but we ended up using it. In spite of or perhaps because of our team name for as it turned out we were the only team that named ourselves, we were victorious with 745 (out of 1,000) points. Our closest competitor had 710 points while the team in last place had slightly less than half our total. Someone mentioned at the end that we may have had the highest total ever, but I can't help but think we only earned a "C" on our exam.
I'd like to post a link to the news story for which pictures were taken of the group of us. But, it has yet to be written. The digital photo is somewhere...perhaps I can lay my hands on it.
Our team was captained by Elizabeth, the newest librarian here in Coquille, along with two other librarians who formed our strong foundation, Steve and Mary. Our scribner and Elizbeth's boyfriend Jake along with Paul and I were the non-library staff half of the group.
I would love to say that I was the star of this team, or at the very least that I was as strong a member as the rest, but I will have to be satisfied with saying that I wasn't the suckiest player on our team, but I won't say who that was. Well, would we have won if I weren't there, ignoring for the moment that it couldn't have been a we without a me? There were four questions that I knew the answer to, which totalled 40 points (well I knew the answer to quite a few more, but these were the ones where I was the only person that knew the answer). Two of these Mary guessed at, but wasn't sure. We won by 35...it seems like I helped with victory. But, I also talked the team out of a correct answer, well with Paul's help. Without listing the questions, here are the four answers that define me as a person, if you will: Charlie Sheen, road runner, Fort Clatsop, Columbia and Snake rivers. The answer that I talked the team out of was: 50 miles. There was one answer in the last round that I knew, and didn't say anything about because I let the others convince me that it wasn't correct, was: Emily Dickenson.
If we had played with a full contingent of eight, perhaps we would have totally kicked ass. We'll have to see if that can happen in the fall.