Going Postal (2010)

OK, usually I write up a description of what happened in the movie or show I've watched and then I give my opinion on it. I guess I should do that, so, I'll give you the nutshell version.
A conman gets caught and sentenced to hang, but instead of death is forced to head up Post Office in Ankhsport. He is at odds with the evil man running the Clacks Service (a kind of telegraph, but with lights from tower to tower), from the very beginning. He develops a love / hate relationship with a woman who hires out golems and has ties to the Clacks service and a reason to hate the man running it.
Eventually the postman the Clacksman come to loggerheads and have a competition that will put one of them out of business for good. They both cheat, but the conman is cheating for the 'right' reasons, so he wins.
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Now, I can get to what I want to say. I have loved the live action BBC productions of Pratchett's work that have been coming out over the last few years. This one, not so much. The best thing I can say about this two-part movie is that it has good production value. It's not funny enough to be a comedy; not serious enough to be a drama; not involved with the characters feelings and love enough to be a romance; not action-packed enough to be an adventure. Nor is it some kind of hybrid that incorporates all four of these elements, though they are certainly present at times.
Aside from the golems and the fact that this story takes place on (or is that in?) Discworld, this doesn't seem like a fantasy as much as it does a stylized period piece. Meh. Maybe I just don't like the Discworld stories that don't feature Death (who is not even present at all in this one, even though characters do die).
I can't say much for the acting, it was neither brilliant nor horrible.
Perhaps I set my expectations too high, since I have been waiting on this show for a long time, made even longer by another library in the county bumping me not once but twice so that their patron could watch the film. What I didn't know at the time was that they were trying to help me out. This was one that I could have passed on.

Stardust (2007)

A young man enters a magical world through a hole in a wall, a wall that appears to him to just be between two fields. What he discovers is a nearby town with a market and a beautiful enslaved princess that he makes love to before going back to his home in the village. Nine months later a baby is delivered to him - it's his son Tristan (Charlie Cox).
Tristan grows up to work in shop, but not be a shop boy. He is smitten with the local pretty girl, Victoria (Sienna Miller) who is only pretty and lacks the depth to ever be Tristan's true love. Meanwhile, the other side of the wall, in the kingdom of Stronghold, the King (Peter O'Toole) is dying and comes up with a way to choose a successor, and this results in a falling star, Yvaine (Claire Danes) coming to earth. Through comic misunderstanding, Tristan ends up the first person to come upon Yvaine, but not the last - the evil witch Lamia (Michelle Pfeiffer) is searching her out, because if she can consume her heart, she can become immortal. The last of the King's sons, Septimus (Mark Strong) is also looking for the fallen star and the stone which she carries which just happens to be the symbol of the King of Stormhold.
Tristan and Yvaine have a string of comically off-beat adventures that sees them each time narrowly escaping death and eventually falling in love.
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What a charming little film. I'm not sure how this one slipped past me. Fantasy? Check. British? Check. Neil Gaiman? Check. Well known actors playing quirky characters? Check.
I literally knew nothing about this film before my favorite librarian handed me the box. And then all I knew was that Michell Pfeiffer was in it. If I had been wearing my glasses, I would have seen that on the cover is also Robert De Niro and Claire Danes. I'll watch anything De Niro or Danes are in, and the two together, well even better. I had actually kind of been putting this one off, because I'd never heard of it, and reading the back of the box (without looking again at the front) I wasn't sure I wanted a film about "celestial love, and a pure-hearted hero". Obviously I stopped reading at that point and never got on to the part about it featuring De Niro. Once I popped the disk in and heard the dulcet tones of Sir Ian McKellan as our narrator, I knew I was in for a fantastic movie. Because of there is one actor that trumps De Niro and Danes, it's McKellan. (In full disclosure, there are several actors that trump De Niro and Danes - Ewen McGregor, Patrick Sewart, Hugh Jackman and Helen Mirren spring to mind, but they're my A+ list, while De Niro and Danes are on my A list, and to be honest, they're both pretty close to the top of the A list.)
I love fantasy movies that keep a sense of humor about them. Hell, that's the only reason I made it passed the first Pirates of the Carribbean movie. (Again, in full disclosure, Jonny Depp is on my A list so I'll watch his films even if they're not quite my cup of tea.) The Captain Shakespeare character played by De Niro is hilarious, if a bit over the top, but what makes it work is that De Niro seems so earnest in his portrayal of this character that at one point I can actually see him saying to himself, "How would Robin Williams plays this?" and then he does that. More brilliantly cast, and funnier in my opinion is Ricky Gervais as the lightning black marketeer. Oh, and the ghosts of the dead princes are pretty funny - very Terry Pratchett, and I mean that in the most complimentary kind of way.
New to me was the young hero, played by Charlie Cox. I don't know what else he has done, but now that gives me something to look into and find new films to watch.
The special effects for this film were quite decent. I guess I assume that if something flies under my radar that it must be a smaller studio or indie film, both of which tend to mean low budget. But this was not the case for Stardust. It was a top quality A list movie from beginning to end.

Run Fatboy Run (2007)

Women's clothing store security guard, Dennis Doyle (Simon Pegg) left his pregnant girlfriend, Libby (Thandie Newton) at the altar five years earlier. Doyle is a loser who wishes he could get another shot at Libby. It's not until he meets her new boyfriend, Wytt (Hank Azaria) that he realizes that he might not have any more chance at getting together with her.
In a move of jealousy driven bravado, Doyle matches Wytt's claim that he can run a marathon and in fact will run in the upcoming marathon which Wytt is training for.
No one believes that Doyle can do it, except for his best friend Gordon (Dylan Moran) and his landlord (Haresh Patel). The two believe in him even when he has given up on himself.
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I really wanted to love this film. I go out of my way to watch Simon Pegg - I've been a big fan since Spaced. And with his buddy being played by Dylan Moran, whom I've been a fan of since Black Books, I thought this would be an even better than usual film. Did I mention that I am usually entertained by Hank Azaria, with Simpson aside, I love as the Blue Raja in Mystery Men? But this film never really found it's footing, couldn't keep up the pace, got winded - insert your own running pun of choice.
The film had funny moments, but it was cliched and not very consistently paced, not to mention it was a bit schizophrenic as to which type of film it was going to be - light romantic comedy, buddy film, touching family comedy, morale-driven comedy. Did I mention that the script was cliched? You know how this film is going to turn out as soon as they are done with the setup, maybe even before them. That's okay in a comedy, but I shouldn't be able to predict the lines, and I definitely shouldn't be able to predict when Moran is going to appear pantless in a scene.
To be absolutely frank, Azaria was phoning in a lot of this lines, and there were a couple of scenes where Pegg and Moran did the same. When that happens in a film, the only person to blame is the director, which in this case is first-time David Schwimmer, better known as an actor. In my opinion, it would have been better with Schwimmer and Azaria switching roles - not because I like Schwimmer better than Azaria, au contraire - I think Azaria could have been a better director, and then when the American runner character turns out to be a real dick, I would buy that better from Schwimmer.
The bright spot in this film is Thandie Newton. She's consistently on as the straight / love interest / object of desire. The kid, Jake, played by Matthew Fentox was pretty good to, and worked well with both Newton and Pegg.
My advice? Watch the opening flashback sequence and then fast forward between Pegg and Moran's antics. Or better yet, pull out your copy of Shaun of the Dead and watch that instead.

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2011)

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The Descendants (2011)

George Clooney stars as Matt King, he's an attorney living in Hawaii where his family has lived for generations. His wife is in a boating accident which leaves her in a coma in a slowly deteriorating state which the doctors think she'll never recover from. Matt had not been the best father, and now must come to terms with his two daughters.
Matt must come to terms with learning that his wife had been cheating on him, while brokering the sale of the family land held in trust for his cousins and him. As the sale draws closer, Matt becomes more and more obsessed with tracking down the guy who his wife cheated on him with and finds that the guy is a realtor tied up with the deal for his family trust.
Matt ultimately decides that he wants to keep the land, and he has seven years to figure out how to do it, likely seven years of his cousins trying to get the land from him, but he doesn't really care.
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Nobody forced this movie on me, but it was offered for my viewing pleasure, so I took the bait. I would have ended up caving in eventually, because I am a big George Clooney fan. I should have known that when I read the word, "unapologetically" that I was in for it. This is not a happy movie, even though it mentions "funny" several times. I'm not saying it's not a good film, it is, it's just really fucking depressing.
The quotes on the box about a great ensemble cast are spot on. There was not one single weak link. Particularly good, in addition to Clooney of course, were Shailene Woodsley as his oldest daughter and surprisingly Matthew Lillard as "the other guy".
This was shot on location in Hawaii, mostly on Oahu and Kuai. I can't think of a more beautiful locale than this. Of course the story line was tied to Hawaii and probably wouldn't have worked in any other US location, thought I suppose they could have made it forested land in Northern California or Upstate New York. I'm glad that they didn't.
The soundtrack was pretty rockin' with a lot of traditional sounding Hawaiian music. Okay, I may be making a fallacy with that statement, I am just assuming this since all fo the songs were in Hawaiian. It was great none the less.
Oh, and for the record, I only teared up when Clooney did, talking to his wife right before she passed.

The King's Speech (2010)

The film starts in 1925 when the Duke of York (Colin Firth) is to give a speech at the close of the British Exposition, in from of the masses at Wembley Stadium and broadcast via radio. It becomes apparent straight away that the Duke has a speech impediment. He had been accompanied by his wife (Helena Bonham Carter) who remained supportive after an embarrassing speech. When the Duke meets with his father, King George V (Michael Gambon), the King treats his son as if the stammer was because he just wasn't trying hard enough to get through the speech.
We move ahead to the mid-1930s when Hitler has started his rise in Germany. Having tried all the methods by all the doctors to overcome his speech impediment, the Duke is reluctant to try one last fellow, Lionel Logue (Geoffrey Rush) that the Duchess has found. Loque meets with the Duke who proves to be a very stubborn man, but one who wants to improve his speaking.
When the King dies, and the Prince of Wales becomes Edward VIII (Guy Pearce), the Duke does his best to get the new King to take matters of state more seriously, but the King is only concerned with his romance with a married American woman. Eventually the King abdicates the thrown in favor of his lover.
The Duke must then ascend to the thrown, and when he brings Logue with him to prepare for the coronation, Archbishop Lang (Derek Jacobi) tries to discredit Logue so that he can put his own man in the spot and thus have more say over the King. The Duke feels as if he has been betrayed, that Logue has misrepresented himself, but Logue has not, it is the Duke who had assumed he was a doctor. Logue explains how he came to be doing speech therapy - he started with assisting returning veterans from the Great War in his home country of Australia.
Not long after becoming Kind George VI, he must give a speech broadcast to the whole of the British Empire announcing that through unfortunate circumstances they are prepared to be at war with Germany. Logue prepares the King for the most important speech of his life thus far After a halting start, the speech is well-spoken and a success.
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This film finally answers the question of how long it takes to rise from the level of Benedictine monk to the the Archbishop of Canterbury - 800 years in the onscreen presentation, 20 years in the life of the actor. I, of course, am referring to Derek Jacobi, who starred as Brother Cadfael in the Cadfael Chronicles, and then as the Archbishop in this film. Having just watched the Cadfael Chronicles in their entirety, I found this amusing.
And what did I watch before the Cadfael Chronicles? The Singing Detective starring one Michael Gambon as a writer suffering from a horrible disease. But, of course here he is as King George V, leading one to briefly entertain the thought that the King may have been leading a secret double life.

I had no idea this film was based on real events until I read the box. This has been on my list to watch and had I known how amazing it was going to be, I would have watched it sooner. I recognize some of the historical figures - Neville Chamberlin (Roger Parrott), Winston Churchill (Timothy Spall), a young Princess Elizabeth (Freya Wilson), but knew nothing more about the monarchy during World War II than that George V was King.
What can I say about this film that hasn't been said? I don't know - I haven't read any of the reviews because I wanted to see the film first. All I knew was that it came highly recommend from my usual source and she hasn't done wrong by me yet. So, I'll say what I want and not worry about repeating things (not that it would have stopped me anyway).
Rush and Firth are amazing. I can only imagine how hard it must have been for Firth to imitate a speech impediment and that he makes it so believable just adds to the difficulty. He handles it absolutley brilliantly. Coupled with Rush's portrayal of Lionel Logue, a failed actor who came to speech therapy because he wanted to help people, and his insistence that the Duke (and later King) be treated like his other patients, while remaining personable and genuinely concerned for his patient who has become his friend, this movie is unbeatable.
When Carter is added in the supporting role of the strong-willed, but loving wife, I eventually forget who they all really are and only see the characters. Which is something considering early on in the movie when Carter and Gambon have a scene together, I was wondering if after the director called 'cut' if they were reminiscing about the goold old days making the Harry Potter films and musing what a conversation between LeStrange and Dumbledore might be like.
On top of all the amazing acting, the film was beautiful, depicting England in a historically accurate manner, while still managing some great lighting and settings (I'm thinking mostly of the scenes in Logue's office) that makes you forget about the setting which is a country coming out of a depression and heading into a war. All of the office visits are brightly lit, I believe to give a sense of hope, while many of the "royal" and "official" scenes are darkly lit to give a visual cue to just how serious and important the matter at hand are.

Skyline (2011)

It's Terry's (Donald Falson) birthday weekend and he's having a huge bash. To celebrate in proper fashion, he flies out his best buddy from the old days, Jarod (Eric Belfour) and his girlfriend Elayne (Scottie Thompson). Terry is the founder and head of a special effects company that has made him a very wealthy man. While he wants to see Jarod, he also has a secret agenda - to get Jarod to leave Brooklyn behind and settle in L.A. to work for him. Terry doesn't work on his birthday, so he has assistant Denise (Crystal Reed) handle everything including bathroom sex, while his girlfriend (or perhaps she is his wife) Candice (Brittany Daniel) plays hostess. Sometime during the night, building manager Oliver (David Zayas) comes to tell the partiers to quiet down.
At 4 in the morning, everything changes. Mysterious balls of blue light come to earth all over the city. Anyone who looks directly into the light becomes hypnotized/mesmerized and walk into the light and the disappear. Denise sees the happen firsthand to some party guest who too drunk to drive home, had been sleeping on the floor while she was on the couch. When Jarod comes out to investigate her yells and screams, he is also transfixed by the light but is rescued by Elayne and Terry before it is too late.
To discover what is going on, Terry hatches the brilliant plan for her and Jarod to go to the roof to investigate while the ladies stay in the apartment. Jarod discovers that the blue light is pulling the people into the air, and it is not long afterwards that they discover the aliens.
Everything they try is ridden with disaster. First they lose Denise, and then Terry, but gain Oliver. They hold out for a while, Elayne eventually revealing to all that she is pregnant. Jarod has been changed by the time he spent looking into the light. He is somehow stronger, both in mind and body. Eventually, Candice is taken, and Oliver blows himself up in order to kill an alien and hopefully buy Jarod and Elayne the time they need to escape.
Did I mention that somewhere along the way, the U.S. military nukes the mother ship? Thank goodness for our heroes, the aliens seem to absorb most of the blast and all of the radiation.
In the end, Jarod and Elayne are left to fight one of the aliens in hand-to-hand combat, and just when they seem to win, they lose. Jarod has his brain/spinal cord implanted in one of the alien bodies, while the aliens examine Elayne and try to get at her yet unborn child.
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Remember when Turk decided to quit being a doctor so that he could be a gangsta record company exec, er, I mean special effects company exec? And the honorable rapscallion turned restaurateur in Haven, XXX, decided to become a mumble-mumble-mumble in Brooklyn who didn't earn very much money? Remember when they started dating those women that looked very familiar, but not so familiar that you could actually recall their names...maybe someone you went to high school with or was in that one Bio class that you always used to sleep through, you know with Professor Whats-his-name who was only there long enough to introduce the grad student that would wake you when you're nap was over. And remember when that other guy that kind of looked like that one guy who was either a vampire down in Mexico or fought them or something, anyway, remember when he gave up the adventurous life to become a building manager?
I kept hoping that Bruce Willis, or hell, Bruce Campbell was going to show up. He was going to kick some alien ass while spouting off semi-amusing one-line quips. Or maybe the aliens were going to kick his ass while he quipped, but never quite kill him. This film had that feel. Stick the supporting cast out there to set everything up and then bring in your star power to bring it all home.
Well, they didn't go that route. Too bad. But, they also didn't go the route of most Hollywood alien invasion flicks where the small, but spunky, rag-tag team of heroes eventually defeat the aliens. At the end of this one, there appear to still be military assets in play, but the heroes/heroines are all dead or captured. Or upgraded to the alien body that allows them to protect their pregnant girlfriend. They did totally set themselves up for a sequel.
You know what this movie reminds me of? Resident Evil. I had never heard of this movie before it was placed in my hot little hands, so for all I know, it is based on a video game. If it's not, well they'd be stupid not to put a game out.
You can tell a lot about a movie from reading the box it comes in. Do they highlight the stars, the story, the director? This box has the large print statement on the back (the only thing larger than the typical 6 point font they always use), "FROM THE VISUAL EFFECTS MASTERMIND BEHIND AVATAR, IRON MAN 2 AND 300!" Ouch! The tiny print is the synopsis at least. But, hey, you should always accentuate the positive. And the special effects are a definite positive. I would recommend this film to anyone who likes good special effects and doesn't want to become to emotionally attached to the characters.

Dark City (1998)

The movie opens with a man 'awakening' in a bath tub. He is disoriented and lacks memory of who he is or what he is doing there. He dresses and on his way into other rooms gets a phone call from Dr. Schreber (Keifer Sutherland), telling him to leave before the men searching for him get there. After receiving this phone call he sees the body of the dead prostitute lying next to the bed. he follows the advice and heads out, taking the stairs as he sees that the elevator is just arriving at his floor. In the lobby, the man working the desk calls him Murdoch, which he assumes must be his name. Murdoch (Rufus Sewell) goes to recover his wallet from the automat that the desk clerk told him about.
Murdoch eventually ends up back at his house, where meets his wife, Emma (Jennifer Connelly) for the first time. She thinks they have been married for years but have been apart after she had an affair which he discovered three weeks earlier.
Meanwhile, Inspector Bumstead (William Hurt) has just taken over the murder investigation from Detective Walenski (Colin Friels) looking into the murder of six prostitutes. It is revealed that Walenski was pulled off the case because he has gone crazy talking about the men doing experiments on everyone, and drawing crazy patterns all over the walls and ceiling of his study.
In the third perspective we see Dr. Schreber's dealings with the strangers, as he calls them. They turn out to be a race of insect like creatures experimenting on the humans to try and find what Schreber calls the soul so that the strangers can utilize in their attempt to stem the dying off of their own race.
Murdoch turns out to be the one human who can do this thing called the tuning, which is a form of telekinesis. He uses it sparingly through most of the movie, but quite considerably towards the end. Along the way, Bumstead is slowly becoming convinced that Murdoch is not the murderer and eventually comes to believe what Walenski did, that nothing is what it seems that there is a conspiracy controlling every aspect of the city.
Eventually it is showdown time, and Schreber tricks the strangers and imprints Murdoch with a life time's worth of memories that explain who the strangers are and what they want, plus teach Murdoch how to use the tuning, just in time for him to have the big showdown with the head honcho for the strangers, Mr. Book (Ian Richardson).
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This movie may have come out eight years ago, but it was new to me. I forget the conversation that precipitated this film coming up, but I would have never thought of this on my own. Once I got the movie box in my hot little hands, I realized that I had tried to watch this a number of years ago, sometime before I moved to Minnesota, sometime when I still showed up at friend's houses to find them in the middle of movies. I tried to make sense of what was going on, and just thought that it looked totally stupid.
Finally watching this, it was easy to recall what made this movie look "stupid", it really comes down to three things - Keifer Sutherland, the strangers, William Hurt / Jennifer Connelly. First, Sutherland's character in this film has this really annoying speaking style, very breathy and very choppy. Second, the strangers look like Hellraiser, meets the Matrix, meets Clockwork Orange, don't pretend you don't know what I mean. Third is the way that Hurt and Connelly's characters react to everything so understated that they don't seem to have any passion at all during the majority of the movie.
But, there were things that I didn't think were stupid, like Sewell's portrayal of the protagonist. I liked the noir sci-fi thing as well; it had that 1940s meets the 22nd century vibe going on. I also liked that the protagonist doesn't feel he has to kill every alien to win - sure some die but it's in defending himself.
If you're a big sci-fi fan, I would recommend this film to you, but suspect that like the person who recommended it to me that you already saw it a long time ago. Which might explain her nostalgia a bit, because only in the 90s could the hair-dos sported by Sutherland and Sewell have been considered acceptable, but it takes seeing it out of context to really point that out.

Cadfael: The Pilgrim of Hate

The Set-up: A young monk does penance by whipping himself in front of Prior Robert (Michael Culver) and Brother Jerome (Julian Firth), when he is done, Brother Cadfael (Derek Jacobi) takes him back to his herbalist hut to treat the wounds. While there, Jerome informs him that the Father Abbott (Terrence Hudman) requires his services, but is still a half day out from the Abbey.
Cadfael takes the young monk, Brother Adam (Shane Hickmon), with him to see to the Abbott's request. They walk through first arriving pilgrms all of which are crippled in some way, for the first day of the holy days is Cripple's Day'. Adam cannot help himself and stares at some of the pilgrims until Cadfael chastises him.
When the meet up with Father Radolfus, they discover that it is not for himself which he has called them out, but for a pilgrim, a young man walking bare foot to the Isle of Innes where he was born, so that he may die there. He has uncurable disease, or so he claims; but when Cadfael questions him he does not have a name for it, nor has it been diagnosed by a doctor or healer.

The Rest: The body of an old man is found in a satchel left by one of the pilgrims in the warming room, but thanks to Prior Robert chasing them all out (Cadfael had sent them in), the owner of the bag is unknown and noone will claim it. Hugh Beringar (Anthony Green) is called in, as Cadfael is sure a murder has been committed.
Cadfael does his best to find clues from the body and discovers what may have been a fatal blow ot the head, as well as a silver cross with the bones that he cannot explain until much later when he realizes that it had been swallowed, or at least in the throat of the body.
The merchant who was with the pilgrims is revealed to be a thief and suspected of the murder for a while. But it turns out to be the young man that Cadfael helped at the beginning who believes he has killed the man, which was his father. But, it is revealed that his zealot brother actually killed their father by stuffing the cross down his throat.

Commentary: Ah, you've got to love a scene of self-flagellation. Now that's a proper way to start an episode. This one just kept getting better - Robert and Jerome had their first fight, and for once it was Robert coming down on the wrong side and Jerome not...can they remain besties after this?
Beringar doesn't even bother to argue with Cadfael in this episode, or do much of anything other than act as Cadfael's enforcer. What a shame. I thought part of the alure of this show in series I was the interaction between Cadfael and Beringar - the two men intellectually challenging each other, each willing to bend the rules of Abbey and King to see that real justice was done.
This whole series (this and the two previous episodes) suffered by the absence of the taciturn Sergeant Warden and the clumsy Brother Oswin. Warden provided the example of a king's man who only did exactly what he was told and never thought about true justice for Beringar to be contrasted with. Oswin provided Cadfael with not only a willing pupil, but also someone who could be the target of Robert or Jerome's dissatisfaction with his own action - Cadfael had to consider those around him before acting rashly, for they may suffer the consequences of his action.
This was the last episode of the show. There are still 7 novels left that have yet to be adapted, I am surprised that there were not another two series of the show. Ah well, it had a good run and then a bunch of episodes after that.

The Proof: a silver cross, I guess, though the relevance is never guessed at by Cadfael - it's not until the final scenes where the killer confesses it was his.

Cadfael: The Potter's Field

The Set-up: A farmer plows a field for the first time, as the monks led by Prior Robert (Michael Culver) and including Brother Cadfael (Derek Jacobi) follow behind praying for a good yield from the Potter's field. The plowing stops when the farmer hits a snag that stops the plow from continuing, upon which digging it up they discover the body of a dark haired woman.
There is some speculation that the woman is their former potter's wife - the potter who became a monk just one year earlier. The story flashes back to a year earlier and we see the potter at work and his wife who is extremely unhappy with his choice to enter the monastery - angry not only for losing an income, but for losing her man by which she implies over and over again is to say that he is taking sex away from her.
After the potter has entered the monastery and the wife tried one last time to talk him out of it, even as they are shaving the circle on the top of his head, the lord who owns the land the potter's field and hut are on, stops by with food or money and tells the wife he understands for his wife has been sick for years and denied him a woman. This of course leads them to the bedroom.

The Rest: The lord's son who has professed great disdain for the monastery and the monks who inhabit it has suddenly had a change of heart and went to join the monastery at Cambridge. This is revealed days after the wife has disappeared and just as the lord is off to fight for the king, which he said he wouldn't do under any circumstances.
The body in the field is thought by all to be the potter's wife and by all, except Cadfael, to have been murdered by the potter turned monk. But then the lord's son turns up in need of the monks help and produces the wife's ring and said that he got it from just two days earlier. The body is then believed to be that of a woman with a snake oil peddler, until he proves to Cadfael that she is still alive.
Brother Jerome (Julian Firth) is ready to accuse whomever seems most likely, first the potter, then the lord's son. But we learn, as always, that he is wrong, that as always, he has misjudged the clues and signs.

Commentary: What is up with Hugh Beringar (Anthony Green)? Long gone are his first season days of being Cadfael's equal in the search for justice. Now he is the local cop that doubts everything the good brother says, right up until the truth is revealed at the end. In series I through III, he had a sergeant to do that, but with two of the three episodes, i.e. both I've seen so far, are lacking our long-haired, ill-humored sergeant. Beringar's gaol cells have been featured in both of these episodes as well as the grunting, van dyke wearing gaoler.
The show has gone from being a medieval police procedural, er, monk procedural to being a medieval drama. There is no longer a focus on how Cadfael solves the crime, but how he interacts with the people who admit what he suspects.

The Proof: a vial of hemlock

Cadfael: The Holy Thief

The Set-up: It is the year 1144 and the civil war between those supporting King Stephen and those supporting the Empress Maude still wages. Shrewesbury Abbey seems to be caught up right in the middle of it, but mostly it is King Stephen's men riding around in the pouring rain accusing local men of treason and then having sport with them before killing them.
Into this comes the Prior from Ramsey Abbey with bad news and a brother that has had a vision. The bad news is that Maude's forces have burned the Abbey to the ground, and the vision is that the remains of St. Winifred should return with them to rebuild the Abbey.
The Prior and Brother Cadfael (Derek Jacobi) butt heads right from the beginning. When things don't go the Prior's way, he leaves in the night and the next morning the remains of St. Winifred as well as a young female singer have both been taken.

The Rest: Father Radolfus (Terrence Hudman) sends Cadfael along with the Deputy Sheriff, Hugh Beringar (Anthony Green) to find the Prior and recover the stolen relic, but they must contend with the civil war and a river at flood stage on their journey. They recover the girl who is accused of being a runaway slave, and they recover the remains, but it turns out that valuable jewels were also taken, and those they do not recover.
The brother is accused of the cart driver's murder, his guilt assured after his previous admission to stealing the relic. But he knew nothing of the slave girl, and it's her eventual change of ownership, paid for with the missing jewels that shows it be the devious, cutthroat lord where the cart was found.

Commentary: New Hugh! New Hugh! The poofy-haired chap has been replaced by a younger man with a caesar do. Further more, this Hugh is the dumbest of the lot, choosing to believe "trial by water" over simple, logical proof. Holy shit! Trial by water! I can't stop using exclamation points!
Trial by water, if you sink you're innocent, if you float you're guilty. Very convenient thing this - for capital crimes it always results in the accused's death.
By why stop with trial by water, let's have...wait for it...wait for it...Trial by Bible! Sorry, I'm getting carried away again. Whereas I am familiar with the justice meted out by water, I had never heard of the justice meted out by scripture. Each of the claimants, while blind-folded, let's the bible fall open to a seemingly random page, and then they place their finger on a random spot and the passage they are touching becomes their verdict. In this case, three are seeking the relics, so whichever verse is most about keeping things or being together or choosing wisely, etc is the winner.
Speaking of bibles, I am sure an Abbey would certainly have had one, perhaps even more than one, but would it have been in English? The year was 1144, ant it seems to me that the Abbey may not have had an English version. <<>>
And then there are the prayer books, which looked very much mass produced. That may very well have been a props error. Now those were portrayed as being in Latin, which is what got me thinking about the language of the bible at that time.
My "dealer" said this was the worst yet of the Cadfael Chronicles. I'm not so sure. Not counting that there are still two episodes to go and one of them may be worse than this one; I think the previous two, "St Peter's Fair" and "The Raven in the Foregate" were both worse. She did warn me at the outset that these various episodes were a good way to relax - turn off your brain and just sit back and enjoy some classic BBC drama/mystery/comedy/period shows.

The Proof: Hemlock, sheep's fat and a red thread with gold running through it.

Cadfael: The Raven in the Foregate

The Set-up: Father Radolfus (Terrence Hudman) is riding with another, a priest by the name of Father Ailnoff who has come to replace Father Adam. As they ride by the body of a traitor to King Stephen being feasted upon by crows, Radolfus stops to bless the departed man, while Ailnoff comments that it is a waste of time as the man was clearly a traitor to Stephen, to which Radolfus responds, that during a civil war all men are traitors.
While Cadfael (Derek Jacobi) talks with a pair of sisters who are saddened at the passing of Father Adam and arguing with one another, Radolfus and Ailnoff continue to ride to the Abbey, when a hunt breaks out of the woods. Radolfus thinks they are hunting game and puts himself in their path. He discovers they are hunting a man who has been mauled by some of the dogs. When Radolfus tries to tend to the man, the lord puts a quarrel through the man's eye. Father Ailnoff assures Radolfus that this lord is a loyal servant of King Stephen, to which Radolfus responds that they will all be damned. When the lord mentions an accomplice, Ailnoff's man-servant sends the party off in the wrong direction.

The Rest: Ailnoff sets the tone for his time as priest of Shrewsbury by kicking the peasants off of church lands that they have just finished plowing, caring not if they will starve to death. Cadfael is there tending an injured man and tries to convince Ailnoff to allow them the land, but is denied. When Cadfael tells Father Radolfus, the Abbott along with Prior Robert (Michael Culver) and Brother Jerome (Julian Firth) all take Ailnoff's side, Radolfus because he knows Ailnoff is the King's man and that he should be given a chance to show himself, but Robert and Jerome agree with Ailnoff, and Robert even says that the peasants starving to death will "serve them right".
One of the sisters turns up dead, floating in the mill pond. She had gone to Ailnoff for confession, admitting to him that she was pregnant out of wedlock, but when she would not name the father of the child, he cast her out of the church as a whore. He and many others believe that she committed suicide out of shame, but Cadfael notes that she had been handled roughly, and since he saw her right before she went to the church, he knows that she did not have the marks then. The townsfolk nearly rioted, driving Ailnoff before them to the Abbey, chanting his name. The next day, Ailnoff is found dead in the water wheel at the mill pond.
Ailnoff's man servant turns out to be a spy for Maude, and the lord who had hunted down the man at the start of the show, stays to "oversee" Beringar's (Eoin McCarthy) search for him.
There is lots of misdirection, but in the end, it turns out exactly as it was set-up at the beginning - the girl committed suicide and the spy, while not exactly killing the priest, beat him bad enough that when Ailnoff finally fell in the water, he was too weak to get out and drowned.

Commentary: And speaking of drowning, it couldn't have happened to a nicer guy. This priest had been pre-referred to as Father Evil. And quite the bald bastard he turned out to be. That's the last of the nicknames I've been given so perhaps I am caught up at the end of season three - with Brother Jack-ass, Prior Jack-ass, Brother Dumb-ass, Sheriff Hugh the True, Hugh the False and Hugh the third, and now Father Evil.
Beringar really didn't do much this episode, but neither did Cadfael. This whole episode seemed amiss. We have been so long since the whole political intrigue card has been played, that when it is here in episode 10, there is too much going on to explore anything in the proper depth.

The Proof: no proof; it's just one person's word against another's as Cadfael has to deal with really happened versus what he wished happened.

Cadfael: St. Peter's Fair

The Set-up: Traveling merchants have come to the grounds of the Abbey at Shrewesbury to set up for the annual three day St. Peter's Fair. They must pay a fee to the Abbey to attend. Also during this time the local merchant's shops must be closed - only those on the Abbey's grounds may do business. The local men are none too happy about this situation and band together to confront Father Radolfus (Terrence Hudman) and demand part of the tribute, one merchant's son even going so far as to threaten the Father. Cadfael (Derek Jacobi) tries to persuade Radolfus that the Abbey could do without all the funds, but is shouted down by Prior Robert (Michael Culver) and Brother Jerome (Julian Firth),
The unhappy merchants leave the Abbey and go to the traveling merchants to demand payment from them. When they decline to pay, the hot-headed young man who threatened the Father starts slitting open bags of wine and a brawl breaks out, which is later joined by a well-to-do gentleman and his men-at-arms. It is not broken up until Cadfael arrives, very closely followed by Hugh Beringar (Eoin McCarthy) and his men.

The Rest: The wine merchant is murdered and the next day the strong box from his booth is stolen and later his caravan was burgled. But it turns out that nothing was taken from the caravan, but that a glove was left, letting the niece know that she must seek out the glover for some mysterious reason that Cadfael cannot at first figure out. Eventually Cadfael reasons out after the glover's death that there were multiple murderer's, both serving the same goal. The murderer's are discovered as the men serving the nobleman who has come to the fair, but in a twist they're king's men seeking a letter from the Empress Maude to be delivered to the Baron of Chester - a list of all the English lords loyal to Maude.
Beringar is forced to choose between his duty to the king and his friendship with Cadfael and because of this finally empathizes with the girl who was carrying the letter out of a love for her uncle and never knew it's contents.

Commentary: By far the best bit of this episode is when Cadfael and Hugh and his men are in route to save the girl and come up Brother Jerome bung upside-down by his feet from a tree branch, his robes hanging down around his face. I doubt that the monks of that period really wore all the undergarments he was wearing, but alas I can think of anyone in this series more fitting of this entrapment than Brother Jackass.
Deputy Poofy-hair was a little less poofy in this episode than in the last one, and was quite a bit more cranky - thus proving the law Medieval English Deputy Sheriffs - the poofier the hair, the happier the man.
This si the first episode since the first episode where Hugh and Cadfael have been so at odds. The Hugh of the first season, the one who serves justice first and king second has been replaced by a man that is more concerned with pleasing the king, and in this episode more than any other is ready to condemn a man to hanging based on first glimpses, rather than on carefully gathered proof.
Oh, and lest I forget - I don't know what the rules are for the shaving of the circle of hair for Benedictine monks, but for some reason in this episode, Oswin doesn't have one - he has a full head of hair.

The Proof: a mis-sized glove, and a spilled elixir that makes Cadfael realize that a drunk man was only pretending to be drunk.

Cadfael: The Rose Rent

The Set-up: A man, Edward, lays in his bed writhing in agony, crying out in pain as his wife, Judith, holds his hand. Tears rolling down her face she asks where the healer is. Brother Cadfael (Derek Jacobi) walks in at that moment, with a special concoction to ease the man's horrible pain - milk of the poppy with the addition of hemlock. One thimble full will deaden the man's pain, Cadfael advises, and two thimbles full will deaden the pain forever.
The next scene is the funeral procession for Edward who has succumbed to his disease. The body is carried by Benedictine monks to be buried at the Abbey for Edward was a generous patron of the church, the Abbey in particular. It appears that a fair number of business owners in Shrewesbury have turned out for the funeral, and two stand and discuss which one of them will be man to marry the beautiful, wealthy dowager.
When next we see Brother Cadfael, he is comforting Judith and assuring her that she did the right thing by ending her husband's pain.

The Rest: Judith gives her home to the Abbey so that they may rent it out, but charges them the rent of one white rose per year from her favorite rose bush for the rest of her life, along with the brothers praying for her deceased husband's soul until judgement day arrives.  The young monk Eloric who cares for the rose and is responsible for delivering the yearly rent asks to be relieved of his job after the first delivery, for he has lust in his art for the widow; but he does not mention that after delivering the rose he was confronted by one of the business owners who wants to see Judith so he can start wooing her. Eloric sneaks out of the Abbey to go to the rose bush to pay for forgiveness and is murdered there.
After Eloric's murder, Judith considers going to a convent, but is kidnapped. We learn the kidnapper is one of her would-be suitors, but not the murder, for one of her man-servants discovers her location and is forced to flee only to fall in the river and be drowned by the killer, while the kidnapper is still with Judith.
Cadfael and the Sheriff (Eoin McCarthy) are mislead by a boot print at the scene of the first death, and by a witness after the second to think that the killer is the new bronzesmith, which of course it is not.

Commentary: I know that Ellis Peters did a lot of research for the books, which this and the other episodes of the series are based on, so I'm going to give the BBC the benefit of the doubt and say that they either did their own research or accepted hers in their portrayal of medieval life - in particular the life of the Benedictine monks. During the wedding processional, there is one fellow, a monk of course, who's job is to carry a mask in front of his face and every few steps turn to someone along the route, shove the mask at them and say "boo" - which I'm presuming is to keep evil spirits away. But, what I'm really thinking about is, will there be a new actor portraying Deputy Sheriff Hugh Beringar? And will he have even poofier hair? It took a while for him to appear, but yes! No wait... Ladies and gentlemen, may I present Hugh the second and a half! He has more hair and all of it's poofy, so I declare Hugh the second and a half the poofiest! (Yay poofy haired guy! Yay. Right?) I don't know how often folks changed their hairstyles in the Middle Ages. I presume it's not too different from now, so I guess he could have just gone for a more "natural" look, but the series 3 incarnation of Hugh Beringar has allowed the shaved sides and back to grow in to their full poofdom. I seriously thought it was a different actor until I got a good look at that mug of his.
Brother is Oswin is doing his best to follow in Cadfael's shoes and learn the ways of a detective, perhaps some day Peters will write the Chronicles of Brother Oswin.

The Proof: a bootprint which Cadfael makes a wax cast of.

Cadfael: A Morbid Taste for Bones

The Set-up: Young Brother Oswin (Mark Charnock) is having his first blood letting, when Brother Columbarnus has a seizure and then reports a vision of the "Virgin lady" when he is brought to and given the milk of the poppy to ease his pain. Brother Jerome (Julian Firth) is left to watch over the ailing brother and asks him if the vision was of Winifred, a Welsh Saint. Brother Columbarnus does not say, so Brother Jerome continues to ask him until finally Columbarnus shouts out "Saint Winifred!" Brother Jerome hurries off at this point to tell Father Radolfus (Terrence Hudman) of the miracle. Prior Robert (Michael Culver) shows up straight away and Cadfael (Derek Jacobi) is not far behind. Through some discussion, the Abbott grants Robert's desire to seek permission from the Welsh Prince and the Welsh Bishop to bring the body of Wiinifred back to the Abbey at Shrewesbury.

The Rest: The brothers, led by Prior Robert are sent to Wales to retrieve the bones of the Virgin Saint. Brother Cadfael is sent to hold the purse strings and keep the Prior honest (more or less). The local lord is opposed to this undertaking, and after Prior Robert tries to bribe him, forcing Cadfael to be the witness, the lord denounces their cause and states the saint will only leave if he is dead. Of course he is killed and it is made to look like the boyfriend of the lord's daughter, for her boyfriend is not her betrothed. Columbarnus has another vision that the Saint wishes to leave to the Abbey in Shrewesbury and that the dead lord can be buried in her spot.
The Saint's body is recovered, the lord is buried and then Cadfael notices that much of the poppy juice is missing after needing it to calm the betrothed of the dead lord's daughter, who had placed her boyfriend's arrow in an already existing knife wound. It is not long before Cadfael has devised a plan to get Columbarnus to confess to the crime. There is a struggle between the murderous monk and the boyfriend and the monk falls, hitting his head on a giant rock and snapping his own neck. Cadfael makes it look as if Columbarnus has been called home to God, but really he engineers the return of Winifred to her grave and places the body of Columbarnus in the reliquary.

Commentary: The book that this episode was based on was the first Cadfael novel that Ellis Peters published, presumably the first she wrote. It would have been interesting to start the television show with this one. I think it would have framed Brother Jerome in a slightly different light - sure he is still Brother Jack-ass, but it's as much out of ignorance and superstition as it is out of spite and hate and other un-monkly things.
Hey - where was the new Hugh? Wait, if this is the first book's story and the actual first episode was the based on the second book, which it was, then there is no Deputy Sheriff Hugh Beringar at this point, he's still just some minor noble. Um, okay. I guess it's bets that they didn't fare to far from the source material. The story didn't really need him, or his hair, this time anyway.

The Proof: The juice of the poppy. Or rather the lack thereof, for what should be a full bottle is almost nearly empty.

Saturday Songs

When I'm not watching shows or sitting int eh library, I'm often out walking somewhere around the city of Coquille and walking of course means listening to music. Well, I guess it doesn't of course mean listening to music, but in my case it does mean that my iPod is either blasting or gently playing into my ears something off a playlist I've created. Generally, I listen to the same playlist day in and day out - Great Fucking Music, it's called, and as you might expect it is comprised of some, er, great fucking music. I walk for an hour to two hours at a time, but the playlist is around 40 hours long. I've never made it all the way through the list, and indeed it would be impossible to do without recharging, or you know, sleeping. I listen to it on random play, which actually do with all of the playlists (Head Full of Radios - my Radiohead, Thom Yorke playlist, and Modest Mouse - my Modest Mouse / Ugly Cassanova playlist; both of these are the complete works as I have them of the artists).
Last week, I completely gutted the GFM list and rebuilt it from the ground up which took me about 10 hours, since I actually wanted to look in every one of the 500+ albums I have and pick the greatest music I had since it was this playlist is all about. Grunge when down, singer/songwriters went up along with some more funky and up-tempo stuff.
All of this is by way of setting up how I got to listen to the particular songs, in the particular order that I did this morning.

KLF - What Time Is Love
I don't know how long it had been since I had heard this song, a while I suspect. Originally released in 1991 and finding it's way into my collection that same year, "The White Room" by the KLF was very much the embodiment of the Illuminatus Trilogy by Robert Anton Wilson and Robert Shea. My sophomore and junior years of college that book was everything to me. It was certainly not the best book I read (I had the 3-in-1 omnibus edition), not the most groundbreaking book, either. But it was very evocative and my first foray in the counter-culture of the late 60s and early 70s. And I do mean counter-culture - not Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix and the Doors, because no matter how different they were from what came before they were also what defined the youth culture (along with others of couse). This was a humorous look at the counter-culture while being part of it. It was the first book I read where the fourth wall was broken. I listened to this album over and over, partly because of the above, but partly because it was one of the few albums I owned at the time that had a great dance beat. And when you're in college, that is often important.
I was hoping to get some great revelation out of the lyrics with this relisten, but I didn't. Just a bunch of nostalgia.

The Beatles - For No One
This song is off of Revolver which is my favorite album, at least right now. This such a great song, and I realize today, and just today for the first time that it so incredibly sad. Maybe I took it too personally.

The Shins - Girl Sailor
Speaking of sad songs that are also beautiful, James Mercer delivered a wonderful and thought-provoking song that was really one of the sleeper hits on The Shins 2007 alsbum "Wincing the Night Away". I've listened to the full album many times, but the singles were Australia, Phantom Limb and Sealegs - by which I mean what had made it into the playlist on my computer and iPod, I have no idea what were released as singles. While this song is sad, it's also hopeful. The girl of the song's name has really fucked up her life, but not beyond all repair, and the narrator seems to be saying that he's by no means perfect but that he'll be there for her if he can be. I guess that's about as hopeful as it gets while remaining completely honest.

Eddie Vedder - Hard Sun
This isn't a sad song, but it's from a sad movie, "Into the Wild", which is number two on my top three all-time saddest movies list (one is Dancer in the Dark and three is the Wrestler). It's the perfect follow-up to the previous song, offering the other voice in response - the one from the person who is messed up, yet still realizes that they have something special in the other person. Plus, it's pretty easy to sing along with, and I can only imagine what the people driving down Highway 42 around 8 a.m. this morning thought I was doing.

Modest Mouse - Black Cadillacs
The third of the middle three songs of this short list that focuses on being fucked up. The first was about someone else, the second about valuing someone who stood by you while you fucked up, and now finally the third argument that things we thought were fine were really fucked up all along. I guess that pretty much sums up life. I'm not interested in pursuing the other logical options, as they are either unrealistic (nobody is fucked up after all) or incredibly depressing (we are all fucked up and nobody cares).

Bob Dylan - All Along the Watchtower
I first heard this song as performed by Jimi Hendrix and instantly fell in love with it. A few years later when I discovered the Bob Dylan version (I had known all along that he had written it, just not that he had recorded a version of it), I fell in love with it all over again. There is something about this song that reminds me of both The Times They Are A-Changin' and Masters of War (both by Dylan of course). It's really a cautionary tale, and as anti-big business / big government as it gets. Perhaps because of the term 'watchtower' it always evokes something medieval for me, and I like to imagine Dylan as the bard in some small, flee-ridden pub in 13th century London singing it while playing a funny lute.

The Beatles - All You Need Is Love
What do you need when you are feeling down and all the endorphines released by walking as fast as you can for as long as you can are not enough to bring you back up? You need John and boys to come along and remind you of the truth of things. When I was a kid, I always preferred the songs that Paul sang, not so much because of content, but because of his voice. When I was at the university, I really appreciated George's voice and began to look more critically at the Beatles work in terms of lyrics and what they actually meant along with teh context both of the gulture-at-large and with the music scene. Since then, I've developed a real appreciation for John's songs. Certainly if we expand into their post-Beatles solo work, it's John and George that I like and still listen to, Paul is okay, but it's so poppy, and well, unsophisticated. I have no comment about George.

The music didn't end after these seven songs, nor did it start with them. I could be all stupid and say something like, "the music has no beginning and no end", but I really I just mean that there were other songs that I listened to first, and after All You Need Is Love, a song came up at that I skipped and thus broke the spell. OK, maybe I want a little bit to say that the music has no beginning and no end and that the trick is just to listen and if you are so inclined to sing or play along.

Cadfael: The Devil's Novice

The Set-up: A lone rider resplendent in green velvet travels along a well worn path through an Autumn wood. The horse is adorned in green velvet to match the finery of it's master. This is juxtaposed with a most foul scene of a man cleaning a small animal he has just killed, but who stops to slurp the blood and animal bits off of his hands and forearms. The savage man hears a noise - horse coming. He grabs his kill and jumps behind a clump of pushes as our richly dressed rider comes into view. We see the rider from the perspective of the wild man - his large ring with a very large stone set in it, the green velvet is outlined in silver, and there is a large broach holding the rich velvet cloak around the man's neck.
The rider finally arrives, unmolested, at his destination, the house of his second cousin and the cousin's children, and that the velveted man is a cleric in the service of the Bishop on his way to Chester to bring one of the lords there some help in declaring his fealty to King Stephen. The cleric belittles the cousin and puts down his lifestyle even as he taking the relatives freely given hospitality.

The Rest: The cousin arrives at the Abbey after the cleric has left with his youngest son in tow. The young man has suddenly decided to join the monastic Order of Benedict. The cleric never reaches his destination and is presumed dead even though no body has been found. Th boy has nightmares and is suspected of murder even before he is accused. The eldest son, Tristan, is about to be married to the very pretty maiden-next-door. Her brother is the eldest brother's best friend. The cousin also has a ward, Isabel, whom is part tomboy, part spitfire and part unrequited lover. Isabel loathes Tristan's bride to be for the youngest brother has a crush on the maiden.
There is not quite enough proof to hold the boy on the murder until the wild-man, named Harold and dubbed King Harold by the locals of Shrewesbury, is captured and due to be hanged for the cleric's murder. The boy's conscience gets the better of him and he confesses to Cadfael (Derek Jacobi), but he cannot confess to his confessor, Brother Jerome (Julian Firth), for that would be lying to God.
After Tristan and his maiden are married at the Abbey, the truth is finally revealed. The younger brother did not commit the murder, but came upon his brother standing over the dead cleric and when their father followed shortly thereafter, he bid Tristan to run and took the blame himself.

Commentary:  But the kid says that he wishes Cadfael were a father so that he could have a good son to love and love him. Then ol' Cadfael turns to look wistfully towards the camera as the kid and his girlfriend (you know the surprisingly hot tomboy ward that he somehow never noticed until he went off to an Abbey) ride off home. Will we be seeing Olivier again?

The Proof: There is no proof in this episode. Well, no plant or horse hair proof. There was Cadfael's gut feeling and longing stares. That's proof right?

Cadfael: The Virgin in the Ice

The Set-up: The story opens with Brother Oswin (Mark Charnock), Cadfael's young assistant, running in the snow with a nun. When she stumbles and tells him that she cannot go on, he assures her that she can and guides her safely to a nearby hut where they can take shelter from the storm. They huddle together for warmth, but Oswin distrusts the carnal urges which he has had and leaves her, fleeing into the night, where he is set upon by so-called bandits who beat him, stab him and leave him for dead.
Meanwhile, back at the Abbey Cadfael (Derek Jacobi) is worried over Oswin not returning and we learn soon enough that an orphaned boy and girl are missing, when Hugh Beringar is called to the Abbey to be asked by the Abbott if he would consider allowing the lost children's uncle to search for them - said uncle being a supporter of the Empress Maude. The Deputy Sheriff, Hugh Beringar (Sean Pertwee), most assuredly will not allow them onto Stephen's lands, but he will search for the children in the uncle's stead.

The Rest: Eventually the children are individually found and one of them lost again. Oswin is found, as is the nun he was with, but she is dead and has clearly been raped. The so-called bandits turn out to be some of the uncle's men who have decided to find the kids and then ransom them back to the uncle. Oswin is blamed for the nun's rape and murder, accused first by Brother Jerome (Julian Firth), but later supported by the Prior, Sheriff Beringar and for a while even by Cadfael. There is also a mysterious woodsman who helps the daughter make her way to the Abbey, and later turns out to be one of the uncle's men, but noble and true.

Commentary: Excuse me big-haired dude, but what have you done with the real Hugh Beringar? Are you perhaps hiding him under your wavy locks that are so bouncy atop your head? Seriously, I want the other actor back - the one who only smirked if it was appropriate, not every time he was on camera. My theory - at the end of the first series when Hugh gets stabbed by the Welshman, they slipped up and accidentally 'really' stabbed the actor, and he said, "Screw this! I'm outta he-ere!" Fortunately, everyone else appears to be the same. Phew.
Brother Oswin, whom I've come to think of as Brother Doofus, is really front and center in this story, for which the actor got a nice hair cut. Good for him. Brother Jerome (Julian Firth) (thanks to my "dealer", I always think of him as Brother Jack-ass) also got a hair cut, but his hair wasn't so big before. But, his hair cut has made him unhappy, and he is positively whiny in this episode. He's so whiny that Prior Jack-ass, I mean Prior Robert (Michael Culver) has to tell him to take it down a notch.
So, the woodsman turns out to be a crusader in service to the missing kids uncle. Okay, I'll buy that. He is a "half-breed", of a Syrian (that might say "Persian", but he is definitely from Syria) mother and an English father. Okay, I will also buy that, as I am sure that there were plenty of such children during the crusades. But, this self-named half-breed only comes West after his mother's death and never knew his father, only that his mother spoke highly of him, and yet some how this kid, who is actually called Olivier de Briton (or de Britaigne - hey I'm only listening not seeing these things written down so cut me some slack for Christ's sake), speaks with a perfect British accent while using perfect English. Not buying that so much. Right before he rides off into the night to deliver his two charges to their uncle, Olivier tells Cadfael about his mother and father, and through Cadfael's careful questioning, Cadfael realizes that Olivier is actually his son. What? I'll allow that Cadfael could very well have had a child with a Syrian woman, but that said child would grow up, survive storming Jerusalem as a crusader in his own right, travel West under service of his former captain, and then end up going on a secret mission to find a lost pair of children only to meet at an Abbey the one man in the whole of existence who is his father? Remember what I thought about Cadfael's before?

The Proof: There are no plants or herbs or tinctures that Brother Cadfael uses to solve this one - it's all his intuition.

Cadfael: Monk's Hood

The Set-up: Abbott Heribert (Peter Copley) is called a way to a council to account for the Abbey of Shrewesbury. While he's gone, Prior Robert (Michael Culver) is the acting Abbott, with Brother Jerome (Julian Firth) as his right hand. Prior fully expects that the Father will be removed from his position and he will be named the new Abbott.
Cadfael (Derek Jacobi) is preparing a very dangerous concoction should someone ingest it - Monk's Hood oil - which is a great linement but fatal if even a few drops are swallowed. It is to be applied to the aching back and shoulders of one of his brothers.

The Rest: The lord gets poisoned, the wrong squire gets blamed. It turns out that one of the other squires is really the lord's son. By Welsh law, a bastard may inherit the father's land so that is why he killed his father and blamed the other squire. He stabs Hugh Beringar trying (Sean Pertwee) to make his escape.

Commentary: What a surprise to learn that Shrewesbury is but half a day's ride from Wales. And that is half a day on the back of a donkey. I guess that kind of makes it Hugh's own fault that he got stabbed - the Deputy Sheriff of Shropshire probably shouldn't go off looking for blokes in Wales.
Speaking of the Shire - I'll share a little bit of what I think about in every episode (both those already reviewed and those upcoming), wouldn't this story be so much better with hobbits? And maybe a ranger now and then? And you could just have stories of elves and dwarves, they wouldn't need to be in any of the episodes. Cadfael could have travelled to Gondor to fight in the last great war against Mordor - Minas Tirith stands in fir Jerusalem. The show is so much better when I'm 'Tolkeinizing' it.

Proof: monk's hood oil staining a purse.

Cadfael: The Leper of Saint Giles

The Set-up: A young lady is accompanied to the Abbey by her aunt and uncle, also of the gentry, to await her imminent marriage to a baron many years her senior. The baron is a cruel and ill-liked man, while the maiden, an orphan, is beautiful and liked by all. The three squires for the baron, including his nephew, all believe the maiden to be most fair and pity her for being forced to marry the baron.
Before he is married, the baron has one last task that he must do, and he must do it alone. He is last seen by his squires as he rides off into the afternoon.

The Rest: The baron is found dead, and the wedding seems off. But the girl's aunt and uncle are greedy and make a deal with the baron's nephew who has now become baron to marry the girl. Cadfael (Derek Jacobi) discovers that the baron's meeting was a rendezvous with his long-time mistress; furthermore that the only one who know he was going to this meeting would be the only one that could seek him out and kill him and that this must be the nephew who had most to gain from the baron's death.
The girl's horrible uncle is slain, but his murderer never brought to justice for Cadfael convinces Hugh that it had been a duel. He tells as much to the leper who killed him and is revealed to be the girl's grandfather home from the crusades all of these years later. He came back to check on her and seeing how her uncle treated her, slew the man.

Commentary: Rule number one when watching this type of show is to pay attention to any type of incongruous dialogue at the beginning of an episode, for it certainly pertains to the twist that comes at the end. "Gosh, why is talking about some commander of his in the crusades? He doesn't usually like to talk about the crusades." Hmm, I wonder who will pop up later in the episode?

Proof: straw, clover, the baron's hat which has a particular flower in it and Cadfael's hunch

Cadfael: The Sanctuary Sparrow

The Set-up: Daniel, son of Walter the Goldsmith, is getting married to Margery, but doesn't seem to interested for later we find out he is very much having an affair with a married lady of some renown. At the banquet he pushes the minstrel into the table causing a favored pitcher to be broken. The Matriarch of the house sends the minstrel away without pay as much for his naming her grandson on his wedding day as for breaking the pitcher.
The eldest daughter of Walter, Susanna runs the household, which gives her one of the few pleasures in her life. Ever mindful of the state of things, she notices that her father has left the celebration before it has ended.

The Rest: Walter is robbed of the family fortune and the minstrel is blamed. But the town locksmith knows better and attempts to blackmail the real criminal and ends up dead for his attempted extortion. The locksmith is killed in the river and is floated down it after his death to disguise the place of his murder. Brother Cadfael (Derek Jacobi) finds three different plants on the body, and spends days with the help of another brother scouring the riverbank to find the place where all 3 grow.

Commentary: Cadfael was lucky - if his 3 plants grew all along both sides of the river then he never would have solved his murder. Cadfael seems a bit bumbling in this episode. I guess this comes from still trying to find the character. Right? Good ol' Sheriff Hugh took no time at all in putting Cadfael to use. Perhaps it is because I am unfamiliar with my Medieval history, but everyone seems so shocked that a woman can be a murderer. Could it really have been that uncommon? Murder didn't seem to be unheard of...

Proof: 3 common plants that only grow together in one spot along the river, which is conveniently where the murder took place.

Cadfael: One Corpse Too Many

The Set-up: The year is 1138. King Stephen is at odds with the Empress Maude. Many of the gentry fully support Stephen, but some support Maude who sits far off in France.
Thus is the background set for this, the first episode of the Cadfael Chronicles, a BBC produced series based on the popular Cadfael novels by Ellis Peters. She has written 20 Cadfael novels and 3 short stories to date. This episode, while the first of the series is based on the second novel. Now, I haven't read the novels, but this seemed a good place to start - laying out the political background for a story of intrigue that drop a certain Benedictine Monk into the case of a murder and a wrongly accused man.
Cadfael, played brilliantly by Sir Derek Jacobi, is an uncommon monk, having come to the order after many years as a soldier who fought in the crusades. Cadfael's main concerns are his herb garden and helping the sick in the nearby area to the Abbey. It is at the Abbey where a woman brings her young charge to join the monks while the fighting between Stephen's and Maude's men is going on. It is discovered in no time that the young "man" is really a teen-aged girl, who is fleeing capture by Stephen's men because they want to hold her as ransom to get what they want by her nobleman uncle who has sworn allegiance to Maude. None will recognize her, save for the man that she is betrothed to, against her will of course, a man by the name of Hugh Beringar (Sean Pertwee).

The Rest: All of the series regulars are introduced in this episode, Brother Jerome (Julian Firth) and Prior Robert (Michael Culver) who are out to thwart Cadfael, not as he attempts to solve crimes but to show that he should not be a monk. Hugh Beringar, who at first is made to look a cad until at the end all is resolved that he's actually quite shrewd and a good man, and is in fact made the Deputy Sheriff by none less than the King Stephen (Michael Grandage) himself. There is Brother Oswin (Mark Charnock), the likable and very clumsy young assistant to Cadfael.
Through what seems an unusual amount of access to the King, Cadfael is able to convince his superiors at the Abbey to allow him to stick to solving the case. Cadfael finds himself working with Beringar, while thinking that Beringar might have been the one to commit the murder. Nearly getting himself killed, Beringar is able to prove that he is innocent of the crime, and even let's the girl escape to Maude's lands at the end of the story.

Commentary: Is it kad-fell? Kad-feel? Kad-file? They can't quite make up their minds, but he always refers to himself as kad-file, and you would think that he would know. Actually, according to Ellis Peters, they're all wrong. It's a Welsh name and should be pronounce kad-vile. So there.
The action was pretty good, but the sword fighting was lame, especially for a BBC production. They may like to keep the costs down, but they employ well-trained stage actors (who in Britain has acted on television but not on stage?), whom I expect better sword fighting from.
In this pre-CSI world - both in the fact the story takes place some 875 years ago, and that it's first episdoe pre-dates the first episode of CSI by about six years, there are an awful lot of CSI-type devices, such as trace evidence that definitively ties the murderer to the murder. Cool.

The Proof: lack of bruising on the dead mans wrists.