I'm a lucid dreamer. Always have been. It's usually entertaining, as long as I don't try to psychoanalyze myself. Sometimes though, I have the worst dreams. Excrutiatingly detailed looks at my failures and impotence. Occasionally, these worst dreams even become nightmares. (A bad dream is typically classified as a nightmare if you are woken up by it.) Whatever type of dream, I usually recall them in a richness of detail that would make any filmmaker blush at her inadequacies. The memories have a tendency to remain clear for years- I still remember in vivid detail the first nighmare I had when I was eleven and newly in the sixth grade.
One of the features of lucid dreams, is that often the dreamer recognizes it's a dream, and may even have some degree of control over what occurs in the dream. I often figure out that it's a dream, but in a paranoid way. Let me explain. A family member or close friend who has died will be in the dream as if nothing ever happened, or as if they had just been on an extended vacation. I react with, "My God! How can this be? You're dead!" Sometimes I'm convinced by the workings of the dream that I have been under some dastaredly misapprehension for a number of years. But, more often than not, I figure out that I'm right and that I must be in a dream. Sometimes the dreams are so real and well, trivial, that it makes me question reality upon waking. And when the questioning is about whether someone you have cared for deeply is really dead- ya; not that fun. [Philosophically speaking, I am very interested in this topic. What is it to be alive? and all that. But, when I'm trying to drag ass out of bed in the morning...I don't want to try and figure out if my Grandmother is still dead.]
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
Saturday, March 26, 2005
when I'm down
The rains came back today. For the first time in close to four years, I walked around in cold grey drizzle. Deep inside of me, there is a place that only comes alive in the rain. A lot of my darker emotions are tied to this place. I don't mind when they surface, but it's hard for people around me to understand.
Darker doesn't mean depressed, either. It just means that it's not the laughing side of my personality; which I don't really like anyways. The laughing side is definitely not the funny side, either.
None of this really matters, I'm thinking about something else that has brought me down, but that I don't want to mention by name.
Darker doesn't mean depressed, either. It just means that it's not the laughing side of my personality; which I don't really like anyways. The laughing side is definitely not the funny side, either.
None of this really matters, I'm thinking about something else that has brought me down, but that I don't want to mention by name.
Sunday, March 06, 2005
my mom
With the exception of weird stories that eventually end up on television in one form or another, everybody loves their mom. I am no different. It's hard not to feel an affinity for someone who carried you inside their body for nine months (or in my case, ten). Then the whole feeding, clothing, teaching to speak business pretty much cinches it. But, on top of that they freely give out hugs. They may punish you for some pretty seemingly ridiculous things, but they also make sure still get dessert, sometimes even if it means that they don't.
If you're lucky, and I am, they become your friend for life. The whole unconditional love thing is pretty impressive, too. No matter how big the screw up or the fight, it can always be worked out, because she's your mom.
I love you mom. I always have and I always will.
I'm sure I didn't tell you as often as I should have, but I did tell you- and you told me- that I love you.
My mom past away at 7:45 pm on Saturday, March 5th, 2005. A really hard part of her life is over and in that I can find some relief. And as days pass and I can write about her for longer than a minute without crying, I'll be able to remember more and more of what made her such a special lady.
If you're lucky, and I am, they become your friend for life. The whole unconditional love thing is pretty impressive, too. No matter how big the screw up or the fight, it can always be worked out, because she's your mom.
I love you mom. I always have and I always will.
I'm sure I didn't tell you as often as I should have, but I did tell you- and you told me- that I love you.
My mom past away at 7:45 pm on Saturday, March 5th, 2005. A really hard part of her life is over and in that I can find some relief. And as days pass and I can write about her for longer than a minute without crying, I'll be able to remember more and more of what made her such a special lady.
Friday, February 25, 2005
comic books
DC versus Marvel- which publisher puts out the better work?
It's really about the quality of the story telling. DC comes from a simpler time, many of it's heroes appearing in the late 30's and early 40's and as such represent the times with a black and white view of good and evil. Marvel, on the other hand, saw most of its characters created in the 60's; a time where things were beginning to grey and the comics reflected this.
DC's stories are simple moral plays, i.e. Superman has to defeat some baddie, sometimes it's almost hard for a while, but in the end good prevails. Marvel presents more melodramatic, complicated stories where heroes become villains and vice versa.
But, following my own logic, I would have to pick Image/TopCow/Darkhorse over DC and Marvel. If you want moral complexity, take a look at Spawn or Witchblade. Even Hellboy, which is relatively straight-forward in a way the DC fans could appreciate, has a richness of character not evident in earlier times.
"Like, you know, whatever." -Lisa Simpson
It's really about the quality of the story telling. DC comes from a simpler time, many of it's heroes appearing in the late 30's and early 40's and as such represent the times with a black and white view of good and evil. Marvel, on the other hand, saw most of its characters created in the 60's; a time where things were beginning to grey and the comics reflected this.
DC's stories are simple moral plays, i.e. Superman has to defeat some baddie, sometimes it's almost hard for a while, but in the end good prevails. Marvel presents more melodramatic, complicated stories where heroes become villains and vice versa.
But, following my own logic, I would have to pick Image/TopCow/Darkhorse over DC and Marvel. If you want moral complexity, take a look at Spawn or Witchblade. Even Hellboy, which is relatively straight-forward in a way the DC fans could appreciate, has a richness of character not evident in earlier times.
"Like, you know, whatever." -Lisa Simpson
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
restaurant review- Eleni's Philoxenia
Eleni's Philoxenia. 112 NW 9th Ave, Portland, OR
We went to dinner at 6 on a Tuesday night. Our timing allowed us a nearly empty restaurant at first, thought by 7 the place was over half full.
We started the meal with an appetizer and a glass of wine each. I had red wine and picked it by price rather than by name. I'm not much of a wine connesieur, but enjoyed the rich, spicy-almost dry flavor. Our appetizer was a plate of dumplings filled mostly with feta that came out at the same time as our bread. The dumplings were superb as was the olive oil that came with the bread.
For our entrees, my girlfriend had tiger prawns in a tomato sauce with zucchini, vegetables and mushrooms. I had the kota me skortho, free-ranged chicken, oven-baked and served with garlicky mashed potatoes with broccolini and asparagus. It was delicious. The chicken was moist and tender with crispy edges, just the way I like it. And, how can you go wrong with garlicky potatoes?
For dessert, we tried different dishes to get a better idea of what they had to offer. My girlfriend had a custard with grand marnier and kahlua sauce and I had the baclava. They were both rich, but the baclava was almost too much with its honey sauce and candied fruit.
Our waiter was attentive but not over-bearing. He provided just the right amount of service. The hostess kept our water glass constantly full, which is always a good thing in my book.
Our ticket came to just over $60 which seemed very reasonable for what we had received. Though, it's definitely someplace we can't afford to go very often.
Grade: A-
We went to dinner at 6 on a Tuesday night. Our timing allowed us a nearly empty restaurant at first, thought by 7 the place was over half full.
We started the meal with an appetizer and a glass of wine each. I had red wine and picked it by price rather than by name. I'm not much of a wine connesieur, but enjoyed the rich, spicy-almost dry flavor. Our appetizer was a plate of dumplings filled mostly with feta that came out at the same time as our bread. The dumplings were superb as was the olive oil that came with the bread.
For our entrees, my girlfriend had tiger prawns in a tomato sauce with zucchini, vegetables and mushrooms. I had the kota me skortho, free-ranged chicken, oven-baked and served with garlicky mashed potatoes with broccolini and asparagus. It was delicious. The chicken was moist and tender with crispy edges, just the way I like it. And, how can you go wrong with garlicky potatoes?
For dessert, we tried different dishes to get a better idea of what they had to offer. My girlfriend had a custard with grand marnier and kahlua sauce and I had the baclava. They were both rich, but the baclava was almost too much with its honey sauce and candied fruit.
Our waiter was attentive but not over-bearing. He provided just the right amount of service. The hostess kept our water glass constantly full, which is always a good thing in my book.
Our ticket came to just over $60 which seemed very reasonable for what we had received. Though, it's definitely someplace we can't afford to go very often.
Grade: A-
Monday, February 14, 2005
movie review- Vanilla Sky
edit: I must have been smoking crack when I wrote this, Stanley Kubrick had no part of this project, as it wasn't even started until after he had died. The Stanley Kubrick/Tom Cruise project was Eyes Wide Open which also starred Nicole Kidman. /edit
(note: the term smoking crack is a euphamism, such as I voted republican, which denotes a boo-boo of an oh-so-obvious nature.)
There was a lot of hype for this movie before it came out. As with most Tom Cruise movies there was a buzz, though that may have been more about Tom and Penelope than about the quality of film being made.
Then, before it's in the can, Stanley Kubrick dies. Truly one of the greats, I can only hope that he had a lot more to do, and that in finishing up in his place, they (the producers and director, Cameron Crowe) knew not what they were doing.
I didn't like this movie. It was too long, with the story really dragging in the second half. There wasn't a lot of character development, though they spent enough time with conversation to have done it had that been their goal. Tom Cruise plays David Aames, a spoiled rich kid who is a...jerk. Character or caricature? Cameron Diaz, as Julie Gianni, is his "friend" who he "fucked four times in one night" and because of this falls in love with him. Penelope Cruz plays the part of Sofia Serrano, is an immegrant dancer brought to a party by best buddy and novelist, Jason Lee (whose characters name I've forgotten and can't find online for some reason). With out giving away the movie, complications ensue in all of David's relationships.
It's only fair to say that I don't like Tom Cruise in most movies, because he is always Tom Cruise and never believable as the character. But, he's got a lot of passion. Cameron Diaz on the other hand, would have a hard time acting her way out of a wet paper bag that was already partly torn open. The rest of the cast does an okay job, and I even found myself liking the rolls played by Lee and Kurt Russel. Sadly, their contribution was way too little to counteract the Cruise/Diaz dynamo.
Interestingly enough, I dind no mention of Kubrick's name tied with this movie, so I guess I give all the blame to director, Cameron Crowe.
Grade: D
(note: the term smoking crack is a euphamism, such as I voted republican, which denotes a boo-boo of an oh-so-obvious nature.)
There was a lot of hype for this movie before it came out. As with most Tom Cruise movies there was a buzz, though that may have been more about Tom and Penelope than about the quality of film being made.
Then, before it's in the can, Stanley Kubrick dies. Truly one of the greats, I can only hope that he had a lot more to do, and that in finishing up in his place, they (the producers and director, Cameron Crowe) knew not what they were doing.
I didn't like this movie. It was too long, with the story really dragging in the second half. There wasn't a lot of character development, though they spent enough time with conversation to have done it had that been their goal. Tom Cruise plays David Aames, a spoiled rich kid who is a...jerk. Character or caricature? Cameron Diaz, as Julie Gianni, is his "friend" who he "fucked four times in one night" and because of this falls in love with him. Penelope Cruz plays the part of Sofia Serrano, is an immegrant dancer brought to a party by best buddy and novelist, Jason Lee (whose characters name I've forgotten and can't find online for some reason). With out giving away the movie, complications ensue in all of David's relationships.
It's only fair to say that I don't like Tom Cruise in most movies, because he is always Tom Cruise and never believable as the character. But, he's got a lot of passion. Cameron Diaz on the other hand, would have a hard time acting her way out of a wet paper bag that was already partly torn open. The rest of the cast does an okay job, and I even found myself liking the rolls played by Lee and Kurt Russel. Sadly, their contribution was way too little to counteract the Cruise/Diaz dynamo.
Interestingly enough, I dind no mention of Kubrick's name tied with this movie, so I guess I give all the blame to director, Cameron Crowe.
Grade: D
Sunday, February 13, 2005
New Music- part V
When we moved back to Oregon, it was summer time. Summer means lots of outdoor activities and outdoor activities means live music...
...The band we caught at the 2004 Bite of Oregon was Pink Martini. I guess this group best fits in the jazz category, but in the same way that Norah JonesHang On Little Tomato. The performance was very eclectic with songs from traditional jazz to cuban dance to japanese to eastern european and ne'er I say, everything in between...
...The band we caught at the 2004 Bite of Oregon was Pink Martini. I guess this group best fits in the jazz category, but in the same way that Norah JonesHang On Little Tomato. The performance was very eclectic with songs from traditional jazz to cuban dance to japanese to eastern european and ne'er I say, everything in between...
Friday, February 11, 2005
New Music- part IV
I've been working my way chronologically backwards- finally made it to the first new-to-me band since moving back to Oregon...
...Haling from Scotland, Franz Ferdinand is an alternative band with pop music sensibility. On the bands self-named debut, Franz Ferdinand is song after song that I'm left humming for hours. Much to the chagrin of my girlfriend and our friends, I can't help but sing along every time I hear this band...
...Haling from Scotland, Franz Ferdinand is an alternative band with pop music sensibility. On the bands self-named debut, Franz Ferdinand is song after song that I'm left humming for hours. Much to the chagrin of my girlfriend and our friends, I can't help but sing along every time I hear this band...
Thursday, February 10, 2005
New Music- part III
Today, there's only one band on my new misic update...
...They recently acquired the opening slot on U2's U.S. tour, the Kings of Leon are supporting their latest album, Aha Shake Heartbreak. I've heard half the album and it's pretty good stuff. My current favorite is The Bucket...
...They recently acquired the opening slot on U2's U.S. tour, the Kings of Leon are supporting their latest album, Aha Shake Heartbreak. I've heard half the album and it's pretty good stuff. My current favorite is The Bucket...
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
New music part II
I've had enough free time to discover quite a few new bands...
...The Kaiser Chiefs are a hot new act from the UK. They take their name from a South African soccer team and have hit local airwaves with I Predict a Riot...
...From Las Vegas NV, the hot new band, The Killers, are currently touring for their album Hot Fuss. This one's good enough to even get the album. The singles off of it; Somebody Told Me and Mr. Brightside are pretty typical of the whole album...
...With a hot new album Antics, Interpol is a band from New York are currently on tour, and will actually be here in Portland in a few days, but the show's been sold out for a while...
...Blue Merle sounds so much like Coldplay, that I thought it was for the first 10 or 11 times I heard their song, Burning in the Sun, off of the album of the same name which comes out on the 15th. They're a rock band out of Nashville TN. They've got quite a few .mp3's of their songs performed, live so you can listen for yourself how they sound...
...The Kaiser Chiefs are a hot new act from the UK. They take their name from a South African soccer team and have hit local airwaves with I Predict a Riot...
...From Las Vegas NV, the hot new band, The Killers, are currently touring for their album Hot Fuss. This one's good enough to even get the album. The singles off of it; Somebody Told Me and Mr. Brightside are pretty typical of the whole album...
...With a hot new album Antics, Interpol is a band from New York are currently on tour, and will actually be here in Portland in a few days, but the show's been sold out for a while...
...Blue Merle sounds so much like Coldplay, that I thought it was for the first 10 or 11 times I heard their song, Burning in the Sun, off of the album of the same name which comes out on the 15th. They're a rock band out of Nashville TN. They've got quite a few .mp3's of their songs performed, live so you can listen for yourself how they sound...
Thursday, February 03, 2005
New-to-me music- the stuff that's worth a listen.
Over the last couple of months, I've heard some new music that I really like.
...new band from Montreal, The Arcade Fire and their song Power Out...
...from Death Cab for Cutie lead singer, a new project- The Postal Service, we just got a copy of their latest, Give Up, and really like the thoughtfulness of the lyrics...
...probably my tied-for-favorite of the new music at the moment is the band The Shins. Recently relocated to Portland (just like me), their latest album is Chutes Too Narrow. The lyrics are what drew me to this group too, but the music is pretty good as well...
...the other band in the tied-for-favorite of my new music is Modest Mouse. Also in Portland, these guys have just recently hit it big on the national/international scene with Good News for People Who Like Bad News. Again, a band with great lyrics makes itself heard over all of the pop crap. Their lyrics remind me of the early efforts of Beat Happening...
...new band from Montreal, The Arcade Fire and their song Power Out...
...from Death Cab for Cutie lead singer, a new project- The Postal Service, we just got a copy of their latest, Give Up, and really like the thoughtfulness of the lyrics...
...probably my tied-for-favorite of the new music at the moment is the band The Shins. Recently relocated to Portland (just like me), their latest album is Chutes Too Narrow. The lyrics are what drew me to this group too, but the music is pretty good as well...
...the other band in the tied-for-favorite of my new music is Modest Mouse. Also in Portland, these guys have just recently hit it big on the national/international scene with Good News for People Who Like Bad News. Again, a band with great lyrics makes itself heard over all of the pop crap. Their lyrics remind me of the early efforts of Beat Happening...
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
State of the Union
Oh my God! How did Bush get re-elected?
Tonight is the State of the Union address. He (Bush) wants to lower our dependency on foreign oil by pumping money into nuclear power and "clean coal", not to mention dirty hydrogen. He wants to change immigration laws to allow "temporary guest workers" in, while keeping drug lords and terrorists out. (Unlike now, where we apparently want drug lords and terrorists 'in'.) He wants to "fix" Social Security by allowing personal accounts to "young Americans". It gets better, he wants to amend the Constitution to ban gay marriages and ban embryonic stem-cell research. (The Republicans may be standing and applauding, but the Democrats have turned to each other and started talking amongst themselves.)
Finally, at forty minutes into his speech, the President get to the issue of terrorism, announcing that he will continue to fight them wherever and whenever until they are defeated. Part of this will be accomplished by more military spending. But, this will also be accomplished by Bush continuing to forge international alliances in this on-going effort to eradicate tyranny in the world. (His words, not mine.) (He also said that "The advance to freedom leads to peace." because free people love each other, making me wonder why there are so many killings in the U.S. every year.)
I'm really wondering which phrases are code for "invading Iran" and "draft"? How can we expect Syria to be the only place that we put the thumbscrews to? He did call Iran the largest haven and supporter of terrorists in the world. This after saying that we will do anything to eliminate tyranny...let me do the math.
At least the President is finally wearing the red power tie that he should have worn during the election. And while I'm feeling a bit congradulatory, let's all stand and give the President a rousing "O" for not saying 'erections in Iraq'.
Tonight is the State of the Union address. He (Bush) wants to lower our dependency on foreign oil by pumping money into nuclear power and "clean coal", not to mention dirty hydrogen. He wants to change immigration laws to allow "temporary guest workers" in, while keeping drug lords and terrorists out. (Unlike now, where we apparently want drug lords and terrorists 'in'.) He wants to "fix" Social Security by allowing personal accounts to "young Americans". It gets better, he wants to amend the Constitution to ban gay marriages and ban embryonic stem-cell research. (The Republicans may be standing and applauding, but the Democrats have turned to each other and started talking amongst themselves.)
Finally, at forty minutes into his speech, the President get to the issue of terrorism, announcing that he will continue to fight them wherever and whenever until they are defeated. Part of this will be accomplished by more military spending. But, this will also be accomplished by Bush continuing to forge international alliances in this on-going effort to eradicate tyranny in the world. (His words, not mine.) (He also said that "The advance to freedom leads to peace." because free people love each other, making me wonder why there are so many killings in the U.S. every year.)
I'm really wondering which phrases are code for "invading Iran" and "draft"? How can we expect Syria to be the only place that we put the thumbscrews to? He did call Iran the largest haven and supporter of terrorists in the world. This after saying that we will do anything to eliminate tyranny...let me do the math.
At least the President is finally wearing the red power tie that he should have worn during the election. And while I'm feeling a bit congradulatory, let's all stand and give the President a rousing "O" for not saying 'erections in Iraq'.
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