Troy (2004)

I remember when this movie hit the theaters, the reviews were so bad that I didn't see it on the big screen. It was years later before I saw it. I remember thinking that while I wasn't terribly impressed, neither was I displeased, but really what they should have done was cast Sean Bean as Odysseus in the Odyssey - they could have called it "Ithaca" since apparently they thought using the place name was cooler than what Homer used. But, then they probably would have changed it as drastically as they did this story.
Actually what would have been really cool is if they did a trilogy based on the Iliad and the Odyssey and have it be more phenomenological than this "historical" approach, but way toned down from the likes of Clash of the Titans. Naturally they should have some genius like Peter Jackson direct. Naturally.
And the star power of Brad Pitt aside, I would have gone with an all American, or all English cast or at least picked actors that could the accent of the world. Why would Achilles have a different accent from everybody else? Why would Priam's general sound like a Scotsman? So many of the actors in this movie I really enjoy, so of course recognize, "oh look there's that elf and the fallen hero, oh over there is that mutant supervillain and the dastardly government official. hey, don't make him mad, he'll super-size and go all green on your ass, and look, he's talking to the Scotsman who's heart is brave. The main problem with this movie is that I never stop seeing Brad Pitt and start seeing Achilles. I never stop seeing Orlando Bloom and start seeing Paris. And why is Helen blond?
Because they called it Troy, I'll let them get by with "loosely" basing their film on the Iliad. If they had called it the Iliad, I would be crucifying them for the inaccuracies, you know small things like the war taking only two to three weeks instead of the ten years. Or characters who are alive (if not well) in the Odyssey getting killed off. No, I won't mention those.
What did this film have going for it? Bana, Bean, O'Toole, Cox. It was pretty. There were hardly any spots where I could tell that certain characters were computer animated. It wasn't done in 3D.
What didn't this film have going for it? Bloom, Kruger. I mean come on - making Paris an archer that so closely resembles his Legolas, except for the part where Paris is a coward. There were scenes that were computer animated. I knew this before I saw the film, and I certainly knew this when I watched the armada approach Troy and when the Greeks finally breech the walls of Troy. And, as much as I love Brad Pitt, this story should not have been about Achilles.
Now, who would I cast in my trilogy of the Iliad and the Odyssey...