The Man with the Iron Fists (2012)

I don't know how I let myself get talked into watching these kinds of films. It's probably something like, "Self you should watch it. It'll be kung-fu-tastic. It'll be like all those movies you loved as a kid, except bigger and better and more, more, more. Come on Self, you know you want to." Damned if I don't submit to peer pressure every time. Double damned if I don't get especially suckered by the Tarentino films. And I'm thrice damned by that temptress Lucy Liu. I'll watch her in anything, even if I know it's going to be crap.
Watching these films, by which I mean this genre of the super-exaggerated kung fu movies is almost a guilty pleasure. In fact I would say that it is a guilty pleasure, but as I started that sentence I decided to go with an almost tossed in because for some reason while I feel silly admitting to watching these films, I'll gladly openly discuss The Avengers, or X-Men: First Class. Really, what's the difference? Super hero flicks with predictable plots mitigated by intense fight scenes and big special effects budgets. Which am I talking about here? The Hong Kong style super hero movie or the American style? Exactly.
What I should not admit to (speaking of guilty pleasures) is that as soon as the villain Bronze Body came on the screen, I was all like, "Oh snap! That's Bautista!" Though, in my mind's dialogue I always misspell his name - leaving out the "u". If you don't know who I"m talking about, just skip to the next paragraph, no need to see me admit to watching professional wrestling. Okay, there. I said it. Actually I'm a recovered addict, since I don't have a television. Well, that's not entirely true, there is one in the other room, but I never watch anything on it as it is not connected to anything that allows me to watch anything, i.e. cable or disk player. But really, pro wrestling is like the bastard child of comic books and soap operas. You get hooked into story lines that are no more or less ridiculous than any soap opera, being acted out by people who are no more or less ridiculous looking than any comic book characters (or from what I've seen of certain programs, I might as easily have said "reality shows").
The surprise for me in this film was the character of Jack Knife. For the first couple of minutes he was on screen, I was asking myself where they found an actor who was an older, fatter version of Russell Crowe. And then I saw Lucy Liu and had the epiphany that I was most likely actually looking at the real Russell Crowe. Ouch. I probably would have figured it out sooner if I recognized RZA on sight and not just by name. Hey, I recognized Ms. Liu and that's all that matters, pro wrestlers aside.

The Man with the Iron Firsts at IMDb